{"product_id":"the-certified-crab-guides-of-klah-womens-monarch-tee-stonewash","title":"The Certified Crab Guides of Klah Women's Monarch Tee, Stonewash","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (140 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eSizing guide in images. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eModel is wearing a Small and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Stonewash Grey and Stonewash Blue. An epic feat of handprinting, this one literally takes us hours! \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Certified Crab Guides of Klah Storycard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eThe Certified Crabs of Klah Story:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEstuaries are magical places because they transform constantly, as the sea makes regular visits before dashing off to another party, and back again, rhythmically and reliably but also fashionably later than the day before.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne particular estuary in the Kingdom of Klah, the\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eOreh-wuto,\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ehas a few extra magic parts to it - there’s a little island stage in the middle of it that Herman the Merman often brings his circus to, where the crowds gather and eat extra salty popcorn. There’s a section of reeds home to a family of ducks who are said to be royalty because their feet are not webbed, but instead have long toes which they use to play the harp with moderate competence. There are patches of quicksand which are not like in the movies, always sucking you down to the\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s3\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eearth’s core\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e, but rather small societies of sand that value being prompt even though they don’t have anything to do, so they tend to dash around aimlessly – great for exfoliating the feet or if you need a bit of furniture sanded, not so great for a snooze in the sun. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eShould you want to go to the\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s3\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eearth’s core\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e, you’d be better to try the labyrinths of crab holes that tunnel left and right and up and down and back and forth through both sand and mud \u0026amp; time and space. People sometimes speak of wormholes, but really they mean the crab holes of Klah. The holes are not signposted however, so enlisting the services of a Certified Crab Guide is advised. Always ask to see their certification papers, because rogue guides do exist and may take you somewhere quite different, like outer space, and then steal your boots\u003c\/span\u003e. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39400809300102,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40375842898054,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39400809332870,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40375842930822,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39400809365638,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40375842963590,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39400809398406,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40375842996358,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Crab-Stonewash-Blue-Monarch.jpg?v=1723275754","url":"https:\/\/www.kingdomofklah.com\/products\/the-certified-crab-guides-of-klah-womens-monarch-tee-stonewash","provider":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","version":"1.0","type":"link"}