{"title":"Women's Tops","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cem\u003e100% cotton t-shirts with stories, produced under ethical working conditions and handprinted in New Zealand using environmentally friendly inks\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUse search filters below to navigate to \"in stock only\" while stock is extra limited!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"sacred-feather-womens-tee","title":"Sacred Feather Women's Duchess Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e✦\u003cem\u003e Sacred Feather was not always known by such a grandiose name. He was born Malcolm Blibbertrot, and the girls used to tease him because of his high-pitched voice and silly name. One day three unusual feathers grew out of his head and have remained there ever since. Not only do they add to his ravishingly good looks, the feathers act as a sort of antennae, each tuned into a different wavelength. The first feather, a glorious spotted specimen, allows him to predict the weather in Klah with amazing accuracy. The second feather, adorned with diamonds, understands the mysterious whispered language of the Kazuut trees, who it turns out know some great jokes as well as being incredibly wise. The third feather, perhaps the most miraculous of all, is able to tell when a guest is thirsty, and which flavour of tea is their preference. Because of these talents he has appeared on the national weather channel for a number of years, is the Kingdom’s first representative to the Kazuut Forests in the South of Klah, and is an excellent host to his numerous visitors. These days girls chase him for his autograph and his name is printed on souvenir tea-towels. Sometimes he wishes he could have become a simple mechanic and wear greasy overalls without appearing in  gossip magazines (SACRED FEATHER IN SHOCK-HORROR WARDROBE MISHAP!), but mostly he is content. \u003c\/em\u003e✦\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% combed cotton handprinted t-shirt (150 GSM) with curved hem, produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Sacred Feather story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black with emerald green sequin eye and Burgundy with mauve sequin eye. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Sign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", an occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜ \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":33555909636,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31538779619462,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":287977228,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31538779652230,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":287977230,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31538779684998,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":287977232,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31538779717766,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":287977234,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":31538779422854,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31538779750534,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31538779947142,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/kingdom_sacred_feather_womens_tee.jpg?v=1560285967"},{"product_id":"the-mask-duchess-tee","title":"The Mask Women's Duchess Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eLittle is known about the mask’s origins, about how it was created or why. Some say it first appeared when a strange red vine grew in a village in the north of Klah, a vine never before seen, nor after. Allegedly after seven days a large flower unfurled itself and inside lay the peculiar white mask waiting to be plucked. Others say it drifted ashore on a small canoe that smelt like the moon and felt like wet earth, and there are even a few who vehemently believe it was found under a privet hedge. Whatever its origins, it seems it was soon discovered that wearing the mask gave one the ability to understand and channel the thoughts of plants, and if one assumed the right position, and tossed their own thoughts in just the right way, the plants were able to understand in return. Throughout the centuries the mask has been passed down, sometimes lost and sometimes stolen, sometimes kept in glass cabinets and sometimes worn to bed, or fancy dress balls. Elaborate conversations have been held with the plant world, who tend to be interested in philosophy, poetry, and stories about the sun. The honoured one who owns the mask is called THE PLANT ORACLE.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% combed cotton handprinted t-shirt (150 GSM) with curved hem, produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by The Mask story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":11822207270956,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":602114113,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":602114117,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":602114121,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":602114125,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/kingdom_of_klah_mask_tee_womens.jpg?v=1426769329"},{"product_id":"les-moon-poet-womens-tee","title":"Les Moon (Poet) Women's Duchess Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% cotton t-shirt (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe Duchess tees have a curved front and back and are more fitted than the Baroness \/ Monarchs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Les Moon story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black or Navy with Silver ink. Sizing guide in images. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003eThe Second Moon of Klah had rather a lot of time on his hands. Occasionally he was required to perform some kind of exotic eclipse, or paint his face blue, or red, or turn this way or that way, but mostly he was left to his own devices, particularly as the First Moon of Klah was rather bossy and tended to hog most of the moon duties herself. Lesley (as he was commonly known) thus learnt to amuse himself by dedicating himself to many different hobbies, none of which it could be said he was particularly skilled at. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003eHe had attempted at one time or another to become a master finger puppeteer, a pastry chef, a baton twirler, a patchwork quilter and an avant garde keyboardist, but when these did not work out (for obvious, fingerless reasons) he eventually settled on the idea of becoming the world’s most prolific poet, even ordering a shiny name-badge that said LES MOON, POET (PROLIFIC). Unfortunately he had no interest in writing about things he knew – instead he wrote poems about walking on the beach: “\u003ci\u003ethe water felt thick under my feet and the sand silky \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003ebehind my ears\u003c\/i\u003e”. He wrote about hang-gliding, which he thought was called ‘ham-gliding’: “\u003ci\u003eI became one with the ham and together \/ \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003ewe went gliding\u003c\/i\u003e”. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003eHe recited his poetry in a loud, booming moon-voice to everyone within hearing, polished his name-badge, and waited patiently to be discovered.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":11821848952876,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":11821851639852,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":963501380,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Navy","offer_id":11821851901996,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":963501388,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Navy","offer_id":11821851934764,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":963501392,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Navy","offer_id":11821851967532,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":963501396,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":29032234385452,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":11821852033068,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Navy","offer_id":29032234418220,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Moon-womens-tee_f2fefa41-14c6-42ae-879b-8d40752f2c7f.jpg?v=1554012657"},{"product_id":"the-balloonman-womens-tee","title":"The Balloonman Women's Duchess Tee White","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003e✦ There are many reasons why one might want to exchange one's head. You might have been cursed with a head that chatters about trivial things while you’re trying to nap, you may no longer wish to be mistaken for a famous pop-star - or, you may wish to be. You may be hoping to avoid your relatives, or trying to infiltrate the \u003ci\u003eBearded Men with Slender \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003eNoses Club.\u003c\/i\u003e For these reasons, and many more, the Floating Head Exchange exists, overseen by one known as the Balloonman. To show the Balloonman you would like to partake in a head exchange, simply touch the palms of your hands to the ground and he will take care of the rest. Over the years this has led to several unfortunate incidents where passersby have tripped over and unwillingly participated in the one-way exchange (and then been charged for it). Some have suggested that the Balloonman himself may have something to do with the mysteriously trippable objects that frequently seem to surround the exchange, asking him to explain the presence of cobblestone-coloured casserole dishes, mirrored disco balls and rakes made entirely of glass. The Balloonman responds to these accusations with a shake (and a wobble) of his rubbery head and says, his smiling expression unchanged, “\u003ci\u003eYou clearly have a suspicious mind. Perhaps you could do with a new one?\u003c\/i\u003e” ✦\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% cotton t-shirt (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Balloonman story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in White (with Navy \/ Yellow), and Black (with White \/ Metallic Blue).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small monthly(ish) e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ White","offer_id":963514668,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ White","offer_id":963514672,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ White","offer_id":963514676,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":963514680,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ White","offer_id":29032481620012,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/balloon-womens-tee-white_cbe7ba06-9f22-4eec-93d6-d46f3cbdb259.jpg?v=1558041900"},{"product_id":"the-balloonman-womens-duchess-tee","title":"The Balloonman Women's Duchess Tee Black","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003eThere are many reasons why one might want to exchange one's head. You might have been cursed with a head that chatters about trivial things while you’re trying to nap, you may no longer wish to be mistaken for a famous pop-star - or, you may wish to be. You may be hoping to avoid your relatives, or trying to infiltrate the \u003ci\u003eBearded Men with Slender \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003eNoses Club.\u003c\/i\u003e For these reasons, and many more, the Floating Head Exchange exists, overseen by one known as the Balloonman. To show the Balloonman you would like to partake in a head exchange, simply touch the palms of your hands to the ground and he will take care of the rest. Over the years this has led to several unfortunate incidents where passersby have tripped over and unwillingly participated in the one-way exchange (and then been charged for it). Some have suggested that the Balloonman himself may have something to do with the mysteriously trippable objects that frequently seem to surround the exchange, asking him to explain the presence of cobblestone-coloured casserole dishes, mirrored disco balls and rakes made entirely of glass. The Balloonman responds to these accusations with a shake (and a wobble) of his rubbery head and says, his smiling expression unchanged, “\u003ci\u003eYou clearly have a suspicious mind. Perhaps you could do with a new one?\u003c\/i\u003e”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% cotton t-shirt (150 GSM) with curved hem, produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Balloonman story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black with White, \u0026amp; Metallic Blue and \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/womens-tees\/products\/the-balloonman-womens-tee\"\u003eWhite\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small monthly(ish) e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":35583159812,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":963600504,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":963600508,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":963600512,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":963600516,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":14641308860460,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/balloon-womens-tee-black_037fa014-dcc7-43b4-85c6-635baf18556e.jpg?v=1558041831"},{"product_id":"the-lantern-moths-commemoration-womens-tee-1","title":"The Lantern Moths' Commemoration Women's Duchess Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Radiant Ranges are not glorious and light as one would imagine, but dark and ominous, and strange things happen there – perhaps the strangest of all being the diamonds that sometimes rain from the sky, like the most radiantly dangerous hail you have ever seen, or been smacked in the face with. To avoid injuries, a magnificent group of lantern moths provide a warning system before each diamond fall, flying over the valleys and signaling to the citizens to helmet up the cows and hurry inside. Due to the abundance of diamonds in the area, anything that can be made from diamond is, from houses to harpsichords, tables to toothbrushes, and sometimes the teeth themselves. On the unusual occasion that it is sunny, the citizens are forced to wear special diamond-blocking glasses to protect their eyes from the glare, and stop them developing what is commonly known as “sparkle-eye”. The lantern moths have performed this honorable warning duty for as long as anyone can remember. When they are not signaling, they are forecasting the next fall. They do this in a number of ways: as well as having a weather station with the usual gadgets and gizmos, they watch the skies, they feel the vibrations of the weather on their wings, and they listen to the whispers of the diamonds. The Kingdom of Klah has created this garment to commemorate the fine and important job the lantern moths do.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Duchess tees have a curved front and back and are more fitted than the Baroness \/ Monarchs.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Lantern Moths' Commemoration story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black and Navy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":1421773316,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Navy","offer_id":1421772804,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Navy","offer_id":1421772932,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Navy","offer_id":1421773060,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":1421773188,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Lantern_Moths_Womens_Tee_Navy.jpg?v=1699590014"},{"product_id":"the-wolf-fox-womens-tee","title":"The Wolf-Fox Women's Duchess Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e✦\u003cem\u003e \u003ci\u003eThe beast who was half wolf, half fox did not howl like a regular wolf, nor did he growl like a regular fox. Instead he sang the song of the future, only he sang it backwards, emitting a strange but beautiful noise, likened by some to the sound a flower makes in a sunshower, and others to the rhythm of waves against a great whale. We do not know how it is that he came to have such power, only that the moment he stops singing, it will be the future.\u003c\/i\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e✦\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% cotton handprinted t-shirt (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Wolf-Fox Storycard and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black and Navy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Sign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small monthly e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜ \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":33556039492,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":14346144546860,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":33556039556,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Navy","offer_id":14346144612396,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":33556039620,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Navy","offer_id":14346144677932,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":33556039684,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Navy","offer_id":14346144710700,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":33556039748,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":29032577892396,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":14346144743468,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Navy","offer_id":29032577925164,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/womens_wolf_fox_tee-web.jpg?v=1554105724"},{"product_id":"native-singing-cat-womens-baroness-tee","title":"Native Singing Cat Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black with Metallic roses. Due to the handprinted nature and the technique of printing the metallic blend, each print will have a different gradient of colour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSizing guide in images. Model wears a Small and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Native Singing Cats story card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e✦ Many of you will have heard how nature is connected. There are small fish that zap around big fish and keep them clean, sea anemones that hitch around on the backs of crabs, and plants that will feed you in exchange for a good watering. On the mysterious island of Klah, a species of native singing cat is responsible for the blooming of many fruits and flowers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe sound of forty cats wailing together in an alleyway is not normally something anyone in their right mind would go out of their way to hear, but these particular cats are considered an audial delicacy, and draw crowds from distant lands who flock to the island at different times of the year to watch flowers unfurl and vegetables hurl themselves up from the earth, each to a different type of music.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor example, when it is time for the parsnips to arise, the cats perform a jazzy funk number, and when it is time for the roses to bloom a tragic opera rings through the streets, because it is well known that roses love a good heroine death. There are love ballads to turn the lemons sour, psy-trance for the goji berries and cabbages are always up for a snazzy disco. The cats still sometimes fight as cats (and temperamental artists) do, they brawl over creative differences and who gets the lead part in musicals, but they fight to music so it becomes a beautiful rhythmic fight dance, throwing shapes not punches and swiping xylophones not faces.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen the fight dances occur strange new varieties of plants are often born, such as corn cobs made of pearls, forests of broccoli so enormous that people build treehuts in the branches, and perhaps most importantly, a potent purple catnip with sardines for flowers, which fuels the cats and continues the cycle of beasts and birds and all things fruity in Klah, \u0026amp; thus, the world continues.✦\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":9033326166060,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Navy","offer_id":40253108617350,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":9033326297132,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Navy","offer_id":40253108650118,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":9033326329900,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Navy","offer_id":40253108682886,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":9033326362668,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":40253108715654,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":14341438865452,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Navy","offer_id":40253108781190,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Native-Cat-Baroness-metallic-Betty.jpg?v=1725062121"},{"product_id":"the-lantern-moths-commemoration-womens-baroness-tee","title":"The Lantern Moth's Commemoration Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% cotton handprinted t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Lantern Moths story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black and Navy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images. Model is wearing a size Small and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✦ The Radiant Ranges are not glorious and light as one would imagine, but dark and ominous, and strange things happen there – perhaps the strangest of all being the diamonds that sometimes rain from the sky, like the most radiantly dangerous hail you have ever seen, or been smacked in the face with. To avoid injuries, a magnificent group of lantern moths provide a warning system before each diamond fall, flying over the valleys and signaling to the citizens to helmet up the cows and hurry inside. Due to the abundance of diamonds in the area, anything that can be made from diamond is, from houses to harpsichords, tables to toothbrushes, and sometimes the teeth themselves. On the unusual occasion that it is sunny, the citizens are forced to wear special diamond-blocking glasses to protect their eyes from the glare, and stop them developing what is commonly known as “sparkle-eye”. The lantern moths have performed this honorable warning duty for as long as anyone can remember. When they are not signaling, they are forecasting the next fall. They do this in a number of ways: as well as having a weather station with the usual gadgets and gizmos, they watch the skies, they feel the vibrations of the weather on their wings, and they listen to the whispers of the diamonds. The Kingdom of Klah has created this garment to commemorate the fine and important job the lantern moths do.✦\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis garment has been decreed an official Klah habiliment by the Kingdom of Klah. The Kingdom wishes you to know that each and every one of these pieces has been individually printed by the Kingdom’s master artist, and is therefore unique to its brothers and sisters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cem\u003e Sign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", an occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Navy","offer_id":9038246412332,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":9038246445100,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Navy","offer_id":9038246543404,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":9038246576172,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Navy","offer_id":9038246674476,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":9038246707244,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":9038246805548,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":9038246838316,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":14345542074412,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Navy","offer_id":40181915811974,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Lantern-Moth-baroness-Betty.jpg?v=1725002809"},{"product_id":"brian-bird-lion-womens-baroness-tee","title":"Brian Bird-Lion Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images. The Baroness is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 178cm tall and a standard size 12.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAccompanied by the Brian Bird-Lion story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e......................................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003eBrian had always felt an affinity with birds. This was probably because Brian, although obviously part-lion, had himself hatched from an egg.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe egg had been resting all alone in a nest - not of twigs and moss and sticks, but of matted golden fur much like his own mane. After he had emerged from the egg, quite quickly, thanks to his lion claws, he looked around but could not find any sign of a jubilant parent, or even a note welcoming him to the world, so he climbed awkwardly down the tree and set out for life, which was fortunately signposted. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHe soon discovered that when he encountered birds, a curious energy was created between them, and sometimes nearby objects would begin to fly, or sing sweet songs, or start to forage for crumbs. One time a letterbox burst into song and became a local attraction, and a whole town sprung up around it with lodgings with great names like \u003cem\u003eThe Sing Inn\u003c\/em\u003e, although of course it never happened again. In the meantime Brian realized he had never met a lion, and wondered \u003cem\u003ewhat would happen if he did?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" data-mce-href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Navy","offer_id":9373299474476,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31550476025990,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Navy","offer_id":9373299540012,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31550476058758,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Navy","offer_id":9373299605548,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31550476091526,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":9373299671084,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Navy","offer_id":31550478024838,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31550476124294,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Burgundy","offer_id":31550478155910,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Brian-Marahau-portrait-crop.jpg?v=1587617978"},{"product_id":"snakebird-gold-pikeletcycle-gang-womens-baroness-tee","title":"Snakebird Gold Pikeletcycle Gang Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black with Metallic Gold \u0026amp; White, with Gold Sequinned eyes. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAccompanied by the Snakebird Gold story ☞Translate the Klah alphabet language around the design (alphabet in images, and accompanies garment)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images. The Baroness is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 178cm tall and a standard size 12.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eThe Snakebird Gold Pikeletcycle Gang\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eOnce upon a time the members of the Milk Thieves Motorcycle Gang struck fear into the hearts of citizens, churning up lawns, frightening cats into trees and of course, as all bad ass gang members do, stealing milk bottles. People cowered in the streets, anti-Milk Thieves charms and amulets flourished, and town meetings were called.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eThe mayor tried to have them evicted but gave up when not only were all his milk bottles stolen, but his recycling bin too. All seemed lost. Then one evening, as the gang rode home from a productive day of neighbourhood terrorising, a vision suddenly appeared before them in the golden rays of the setting sun.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eA snakebird with blazing eyes rose up, and in his strange high-pitched voice he sang them one of their favourite death metal songs. Instantly he won their hearts and they listened respectfully to his wise leadership. They traded in their motorcycles for pikeletcycles, which are powered by pikelets and are much more eco-friendly, and became the Snakebird Gold Pikeletcycle Gang. They gave up their wicked milk thievery and started selling pikelets from their bikes, which was still a little bit bad ass as they didn’t have the required food certificates, but much more welcomed by the citizens. These days people hang golden snakes on their verandahs, a symbol of invitation to the pikelet vendors.\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e(For a pikelet recipe, click\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/snakebird-gold-pikeletcycle-gang-pikelet-recipe\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":9711923036204,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":9711923101740,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":9711923167276,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":9711923232812,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":42024498757766,"sku":null,"price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Snakebird-Gold-Baroness-tee_279675ba-d69c-4da1-a024-ead30e088ad9.jpg?v=1751058638"},{"product_id":"the-hypnotic-cobra-womens-baroness-tee","title":"The Hypnotic Cobra Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e The hypnotic cobra had always expected something quite different for his life. When he was young he had assumed he would be a jazz dancer like his mother and much later, it had seemed obvious he would dedicate his life to the exciting and ancient art of Staff Management. He had imagined a rather ordinary life, highlighted by weekends, salary bonuses, and of course a structured daily commute. Therefore he was rather taken aback to one day find himself emitting a powerful scent from his nostrils, a scent at once  magnificent and invisible, that crept like a fog into the minds of those around him, and rendered them completely under his control. At first he was overwhelmed, for he knew he must use the power he had been given, but was unsure what to use it for. There seemed no need for more people to be clucking like chickens or hopping like kangaroos. He became so perplexed that he started doing strange things like wearing beige vests and watering his plants with milk - all and all, things were not looking good. Then one morning as he was eating his breakfast, it came to him in such a bolt of brilliance he almost choked on his Frosty Lizard Cereal: he could combine his previous dreams and skills with his new, creating the finest impromptu (hypno) flash mob the world had ever seen.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. The Baroness shirts have a relaxed fit. \u003c\/span\u003eThe Empress Sophie is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 1.84cm tall and a standard size 12. For a sizing guide please see images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Hypnotic Cobra story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":13870587707436,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":13870587740204,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":13870587772972,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":13870587838508,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":13870587904044,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Hypno-Cobra-Harwoods-Hole2.jpg?v=1558432024"},{"product_id":"burglavorous-snitcheri-womens-baroness-tee","title":"Burglavorous Snitcheri Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Burglavorous (\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eBurglavorous snitcheri\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e), like any plant with several mouths and an appetite for more than just sunshine, should be treated with caution. Although generally a hardy houseplant that can survive in most conditions, it should not be placed within reach of anything valuable, for given the chance, the plant will burgle all your possessions, and where they end up, no one is sure. The burglaries are not only limited to silver spoons and common household rubies; there have even been cases of expensive miniature poodles and pedigree cats disappearing, and we won’t speak of what happened to Lady Zirconia who foolishly tried to water a fully grown Burglavorous with a hand bejewelled in precious rings.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. The Baroness shirts have a relaxed fit. The Empress Sophie is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 1.84cm tall and a size 12. For a sizing guide please see images.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Burglavorous snitcheri story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":13957963546668,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":13957963579436,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":13957963612204,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":13957963644972,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":13957963677740,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Burglavorous-baroness-tee-web.jpg?v=1557655769"},{"product_id":"sacred-feather-womens-baroness-tee","title":"Sacred Feather Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✦ Sacred Feather was not always known by such a grandiose name. He was born Malcolm Blibbertrot, and the girls used to tease him because of his high-pitched voice and silly name. One day three unusual feathers grew out of his head and have remained there ever since. Not only do they add to his ravishingly good looks, the feathers act as a sort of antennae, each tuned into a different wavelength. The first feather, a glorious spotted specimen, allows him to predict the weather in Klah with amazing accuracy. The second feather, adorned with diamonds, understands the mysterious whispered language of the Kazuut trees, who it turns out know some great jokes as well as being incredibly wise. The third feather, perhaps the most miraculous of all, is able to tell when a guest is thirsty, and which flavour of tea is their preference. Because of these talents he has appeared on the national weather channel for a number of years, is the Kingdom’s first representative to the Kazuut Forests in the South of Klah, and is an excellent host to his numerous visitors. These days girls chase him for his autograph and his name is printed on souvenir tea-towels. Sometimes he wishes he could have become a simple mechanic and wear greasy overalls without appearing in  gossip magazines (SACRED FEATHER IN SHOCK-HORROR WARDROBE MISHAP!), but mostly he is content. ✦\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Sacred Feather story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images. The Countess (gold skirt) is pictured here wearing a size Small, is 170cm tall and a size 8-10. The Baroness is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 178cm tall and a standard size 12.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Black with Green Sequin\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Navy with Pale Purple Sequin\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":14094070677548,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":14094070710316,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":14094070743084,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":14094070775852,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XXL","offer_id":14094070808620,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ Small","offer_id":14094070480940,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ Medium","offer_id":14094070513708,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ Large","offer_id":14094070546476,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":14094070579244,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ XXL","offer_id":14094070644780,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Sacred-Feather-Baroness-Tee-web.jpg?v=1749368134"},{"product_id":"les-moon-poet-womens-baroness-tee","title":"Les Moon (Poet) Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black or Navy with Metallic Silver print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Les Moon (Poet) story card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images. The Empress Sophie is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 184 cm tall and a standard size 12.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eThe Second Moon of Klah had rather a lot of time on his hands. Occasionally he was required to perform some kind of exotic eclipse, or paint his face blue, or red, or turn this way or that way, but mostly he was left to his own devices, particularly as the First Moon of Klah was rather bossy and tended to hog most of the moon duties herself. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLesley (as he was commonly known) thus learnt to amuse himself by dedicating himself to many different hobbies, none of which it could be said he was particularly skilled at. He had attempted at one time or another to become a master finger puppeteer, a pastry chef, a baton twirler, a patchwork quilter and an avant garde keyboardist, but when these did not work out (for obvious, fingerless reasons) he eventually settled on the idea of becoming the world’s most prolific poet, even ordering a shiny name-badge that said LES MOON, POET (PROLIFIC). \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUnfortunately he had no interest in writing about things he knew – instead he wrote poems about walking on the beach: “\u003ci\u003ethe water felt thick under my feet and the sand silky \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003ebehind my ears\u003c\/i\u003e”. He wrote about hang-gliding, which he thought was called ‘ham-gliding’: “\u003ci\u003eI became one with the ham and together \/ \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003ewe went gliding\u003c\/i\u003e”. He recited his poetry in a loud, booming moon-voice to everyone within hearing, polished his name-badge, and waited patiently to be discovered.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":14341414682668,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Navy","offer_id":14341414715436,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":14341414748204,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Navy","offer_id":14341414780972,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":14341414813740,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Navy","offer_id":14341414846508,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":14341414879276,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":14341414912044,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":14341414944812,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Navy","offer_id":14341414977580,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Les-Moon-Baroness-Tee-web.jpg?v=1554017978"},{"product_id":"native-singing-cat-womens-baroness-tee-cerulean-blue","title":"Native Singing Cat Women's Baroness Tee, Cerulean Blue","description":"\u003cp\u003e✦ Many of you will have heard how nature is connected. There are small fish that zap around big fish and keep them clean, sea anemones that hitch around on the backs of crabs, and plants that will feed you in exchange for a good watering. On the mysterious island of Klah, a species of native singing cat is responsible for the blooming of many fruits and flowers. The sound of forty cats wailing together in an alleyway is not normally something anyone in their right mind would go out of their way to hear, but these particular cats are considered an audial delicacy, and draw crowds from distant lands who flock to the island at different times of the year to watch flowers unfurl and vegetables hurl themselves up from the earth, each to a different type of music. For example, when it is time for the parsnips to arise, the cats perform a jazzy funk number, and when it is time for the roses to bloom a tragic opera rings through the streets, because it is well known that roses love a good heroine death. There are love ballads to turn the lemons sour, psy-trance for the goji berries and cabbages are always up for a snazzy disco. The cats still sometimes fight as cats (and temperamental artists) do, they brawl over creative differences and who gets the lead part in musicals, but they fight to music so it becomes a beautiful rhythmic fight dance, throwing shapes not punches and swiping xylophones not faces. When the fight dances occur strange new varieties of plants are often born, such as corn cobs made of pearls, forests of broccoli so enormous that people build treehuts in the branches, and perhaps most importantly, a potent purple catnip with sardines for flowers, which fuels the cats and continues the cycle of beasts and birds and all things fruity in Klah, \u0026amp; thus, the world continues.✦\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Native Singing Cats story card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images. The Baroness is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 178cm tall and a standard size 12.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" data-mce-href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":14611670466604,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":14611670532140,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":14611670597676,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":14611670663212,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":14611670761516,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Native-Cat-black-cropped-tee-blue.jpg?v=1557727302"},{"product_id":"the-boney-birds-of-revelry-womens-baroness-tee-1","title":"The Boney Birds of Revelry Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Boney Birds of Revelry story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images. The Countess (black tee) is pictured here wearing a size Small, is 170cm tall and a size 8-10. The Baroness (burgundy tee) is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 178cm tall and a standard size 12.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eBlack with Purple Sequin Eye and Burgundy with White Print, Purple Sequin Eye.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e-------------------------------------------\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eS\u003c\/span\u003eome people are very good at life. I do not mean that they have houses that match their briefcases and never wash their whites with a stray red sock, or that they have a five-year-plan in a folder which is in a bookcase, not accidentally stored in the woodpile. I mean that they are at all the gigs and at the front of all the conga lines, have had boombox parties in underwater caves with swarms of raving electric eels, and have watched the sun rise from the tops of mountains, the bottom of lakes, and even from inside the earth’s core.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eI speak really of the \u003ci\u003eBoney Birds of Revelry\u003c\/i\u003e, whose\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003esequinned nests are always impressively strewn with glitter and are often mistaken for giant disco balls. It is considered impossible to keep up with the Boney Birds’ dance moves, which go on for days, take up a lot of space, and occasionally the teeth of unwitting passersby. The birds absorb the energy of joyous revelry like a black leotard left in the sunlight,\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003eand after a good party they often glow in the dark, which in turn leads to more revelry, and fabulous glowing synchronised dancing.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThey are said to possess ancient powers that cause jovial things to happen at parties - there have been reports of table dancing sloths emerging out of dips, party bags that suddenly contain real parties, and on one memorable night all the guests sprouted resplendent wings, soared upwards into the sky, and danced so hard on on the clouds that one was accidentally burst, and a desert transformed into the sparkliest lake of all time (now home to a large gathering of magpies). The bones the birds wear around their necks and in their party hats symbolise the indestructible spirit but also the transitory, and the duty to celebrate the present, so although they are wild, they are also wise.\u003c\/h4\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Burgundy","offer_id":14773262254124,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":14773262286892,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Burgundy","offer_id":14773262352428,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":14773262385196,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Burgundy","offer_id":14773262450732,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":14773262483500,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Burgundy","offer_id":14773262581804,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":14773262647340,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Burgundy","offer_id":14773262614572,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":14773262680108,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Boney-Bird-Baroness-Black-Tee_f836661b-4f6a-43d0-a198-fa89fdba1811.jpg?v=1701218923"},{"product_id":"the-galaxy-creation-club-womens-baroness-tee","title":"The Galaxy Creation Club Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eAs far back as their memories stretched they had met on Wednesdays to create galaxies. Pauline sometimes thought she remembered a Wednesday cave painting class several thousand years ago, but the other spirits said she was just being fanciful, and anyway Wednesdays didn't exist back then. It was also a mystery to them why it was so important to keep creating galaxies, although Francine suspected the answer to the mystery was MYSTERY, because when they went through a brief phase of not meeting and got regular jobs moving bits of paper around and stapling things to other things as people had always advised them to, the world suddenly became smaller, and some stars fizzled out before their time and fell into the sea. Once the ocean had stopped shining and sizzling, those same people complained that things had become less sparkly and too known - not to mention all the magpies in the world, who love a bit of mystery and sparkle, took to a horrible wailing \u0026amp; flailing, and the \u003cem\u003eGalaxy Creation Club\u003c\/em\u003e was hurriedly reformed. The night before Wednesday (often, but not always a Tuesday), a shooting star would be sent by one of the spirits revealing the meeting place. This moved around so as not to annoy the neighbours, for sometimes the creations were loud and involved chanting and the banging of saucepan lids, and other times they were utterly silent but required bursts of bright light followed by bursts of dark light, and dark light can be very disconcerting if you aren't accustomed to it. The locations were chosen in turn, because if Pauline had her way they would always be meeting in difficult to reach treehouses, or moonlit swamps which sound romantic but are also prone to vampirish insects, and Gregor found this very distracting while he was in the zone. In the zone they always muttered or sang or yelled or silently thought the ultimate words of creation, the words of their belonging and the binding of all things: KINGDOM OF KLAH ❇︎✺✬\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. \u003c\/span\u003eThe Baroness shirts have a relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with \u003cem\u003eThe Galaxy Creation Club\u003c\/em\u003e story-card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Empress Sophie is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 1.84cm tall and a standard size 12. For a sizing guide please see images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":29228139151404,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":29228139184172,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":29228139216940,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":29228139249708,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":29228139282476,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Galaxy-Baroness-Tee-Portrait.jpg?v=1561414656"},{"product_id":"the-galaxy-creation-club-womens-duchess-tee","title":"The Galaxy Creation Club Women's Duchess Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eAs far back as their memories stretched they had met on Wednesdays to create galaxies. Pauline sometimes thought she remembered a Wednesday cave painting class several thousand years ago, but the other spirits said she was just being fanciful, and anyway Wednesdays didn't exist back then. It was also a mystery to them why it was so important to keep creating galaxies, although Francine suspected the answer to the mystery was MYSTERY, because when they went through a brief phase of not meeting and got regular jobs moving bits of paper around and stapling things to other things as people had always advised them to, the world suddenly became smaller, and some stars fizzled out before their time and fell into the sea. Once the ocean had stopped shining and sizzling, those same people complained that things had become less sparkly and too known - not to mention all the magpies in the world, who love a bit of mystery and sparkle, took to a horrible wailing \u0026amp; flailing, and the \u003cem\u003eGalaxy Creation Club\u003c\/em\u003e was hurriedly reformed. The night before Wednesday (often, but not always a Tuesday), a shooting star would be sent by one of the spirits revealing the meeting place. This moved around so as not to annoy the neighbours, for sometimes the creations were loud and involved chanting and the banging of saucepan lids, and other times they were utterly silent but required bursts of bright light followed by bursts of dark light, and dark light can be very disconcerting if you aren't accustomed to it. The locations were chosen in turn, because if Pauline had her way they would always be meeting in difficult to reach treehouses, or moonlit swamps which sound romantic but are also prone to vampirish insects, and Gregor found this very distracting while he was in the zone. In the zone they always muttered or sang or yelled or silently thought the ultimate words of creation, the words of their belonging and the binding of all things: KINGDOM OF KLAH ❇︎✺✬\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. \u003c\/span\u003eThe Duchess shirts are more fitted than the Baroness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with \u003cem\u003eThe Galaxy Creation Club\u003c\/em\u003e story-card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":29359302213676,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small","offer_id":29359289729068,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":29359289761836,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":29359289794604,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":29359289827372,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL","offer_id":29359289860140,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Galaxy-Creation-Duchess-Tee-Black.jpg?v=1562193381"},{"product_id":"the-yetis-dilemma-womens-baroness-tee","title":"The Yeti's Dilemma Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e♬ Paul had been playing the piano for quite some time now, but he had no idea if he was any good. He knew that sometimes people could be deluded about their talents, but how did one know if that were so - for he had also heard of the dreaded Low Self Esteem that could plague creative geniuses. He tried to look for signs and noticed that birds always flew away when he started playing, but then again they could just be jealous of his perfect rhythm and spectacular melodies, or perhaps the tune of his music tended to remind them of appointments they were late for. He wheeled his piano to the beach and put on a concert for a colony of seals and they clapped, but then they clapped at drifting seaweed and bucket sandcastles, neither of which in Paul’s opinion had any artistic merit. Paul suffered many sleepless nights and frittered away many gloriously sunny days tossing and turning in his lair before he realized there was only one thing he was sure of, and that was that when he played, his heart and fur and soul and toeclaws all sang along too, and he may as well continue his public performances until either someone invited him onto Klah Idol or threw a fish pie in his face. ♬\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. The Baroness shirts have a relaxed fit. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Countess Maddikin (in black) is pictured here wearing a size Small, is 170cm tall and a size 8-10. The Baroness von Petnickle (in white) is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e178cm tall and a standard size 12. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with The Yeti's Dilemma story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhite (Black \u0026amp; Blue ink)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack (White and Light Blue\/Purple ink)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ White","offer_id":29415362756652,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":29415362789420,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ White","offer_id":29415362854956,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":29415362887724,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ White","offer_id":29415362953260,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":29415362986028,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":29415363084332,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":29415421870124,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/The-Yeti_s-Dilemma-Baroness-Tee_-Black.jpg?v=1568584898"},{"product_id":"les-moon-monarch-tee","title":"Les Moon (Poet) Stonewash Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (140 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. Model is wearing a Small and is 158cm tall. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSizing guide in images.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Orchid Stonewash with Metallic Print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Les Moon (Poet) story card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e...........................................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eLes Moon, Poet (Prolific)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Second Moon of Klah had rather a lot of time on his hands. Occasionally he was required to perform some kind of exotic eclipse, or paint his face blue, or red, or turn this way or that way, but mostly he was left to his own devices, particularly as the First Moon of Klah was rather bossy and tended to hog most of the moon duties herself. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLesley (as he was commonly known) thus learnt to amuse himself by dedicating himself to many different hobbies, none of which it could be said he was particularly skilled at. He had attempted at one time or another to become a master finger puppeteer, a pastry chef, a baton twirler, a patchwork quilter and an avant garde keyboardist, but when these did not work out (for obvious, fingerless reasons) he eventually settled on the idea of becoming the world’s most prolific poet, even ordering a shiny name-badge that said LES MOON, POET (PROLIFIC). \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUnfortunately he had no interest in writing about things he knew – instead he wrote poems about walking on the beach: “\u003ci\u003ethe water felt thick under my feet and the sand silky \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003ebehind my ears\u003c\/i\u003e”. He wrote about hang-gliding, which he thought was called ‘ham-gliding’: “\u003ci\u003eI became one with the ham and together \/ \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003ewe went gliding\u003c\/i\u003e”. He recited his poetry in a loud, booming moon-voice to everyone within hearing, polished his name-badge, and waited patiently to be discovered.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Orchid Stonewash","offer_id":31546349518982,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Orchid Stonewash","offer_id":31546349617286,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Orchid Stonewash","offer_id":31546349682822,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Orchid Stonewash","offer_id":31546349715590,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Orchid Stonewash","offer_id":31546349781126,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Les-Moon-Stone-Baroness.jpg?v=1725003886"},{"product_id":"the-man-who-loved-trees-womens-baroness-tee","title":"The Man Who Loved Trees Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eT\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ehe man loved trees. He thought about them constantly, and one day he discovered two of them growing out of his head. Soon after, a family of birds arrived with their interpreter, Mr \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eMaximillan P.\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eSymonds\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Mr Maximillan P.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSymonds’ grandmother had been a crow. He asked the man if they might set up residence. The man was lonely and felt an affinity with Mr Symonds, and so he agreed.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. \u003c\/span\u003eThe Baroness shirts have a relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with \u003cem\u003eThe Man Who Loved Trees\u003c\/em\u003e story-card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Empress Sophie is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 1.84cm tall and a standard size 12. For a sizing guide please see images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":31549010247814,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":31549010280582,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":31549010313350,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":31549010346118,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":31549010378886,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Galaxy-Treehead-Tee.jpg?v=1595035134"},{"product_id":"brian-bird-lion-womens-baroness-tee-black-blue","title":"Brian Bird-Lion Women's Baroness Tee Black \/ Blue","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images. The Baroness is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 178cm tall and a standard size 12.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAccompanied by the Brian Bird-Lion story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e......................................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003eBrian had always felt an affinity with birds. This was probably because Brian, although obviously part-lion, had himself hatched from an egg.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe egg had been resting all alone in a nest - not of twigs and moss and sticks, but of matted golden fur much like his own mane. After he had emerged from the egg, quite quickly, thanks to his lion claws, he looked around but could not find any sign of a jubilant parent, or even a note welcoming him to the world, so he climbed awkwardly down the tree and set out for life, which was fortunately signposted. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHe soon discovered that when he encountered birds, a curious energy was created between them, and sometimes nearby objects would begin to fly, or sing sweet songs, or start to forage for crumbs. One time a letterbox burst into song and became a local attraction, and a whole town sprung up around it with lodgings with great names like \u003cem\u003eThe Sing Inn\u003c\/em\u003e, although of course it never happened again. In the meantime Brian realized he had never met a lion, and wondered \u003cem\u003ewhat would happen if he did?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" data-mce-href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":31550673584262,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":31550673748102,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":31550673977478,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":31550674206854,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":31550674272390,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Brian-Black-Baroness-Tee-web_e389903e-dba1-4a2b-b9a1-92f792e7083e.jpg?v=1587618131"},{"product_id":"the-wolf-fox-womens-baroness-tee","title":"The Wolf-Fox Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✦\u003cem\u003e \u003ci\u003eThe beast who was half wolf, half fox did not howl like a regular wolf, nor did he growl like a regular fox. Instead he sang the song of the future, only he sang it backwards, emitting a strange but beautiful noise, likened by some to the sound a flower makes in a sunshower, and others to the rhythm of waves against a great whale. We do not know how it is that he came to have such power, only that the moment he stops singing, it will be the future.\u003c\/i\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e✦\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with The Wolf-Fox story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images. The Baroness is pictured here wearing a size Medium, is 178cm tall and a standard size 12.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Navy and Black.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e Sign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003cspan\u003e☜ \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Navy","offer_id":31564046729350,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":31564140970118,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Navy","offer_id":31564046827654,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":31564141002886,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Navy","offer_id":31564046925958,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":31564141101190,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":31564047024262,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":31564141297798,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Navy","offer_id":31564047089798,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":31564141330566,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Wolf-baroness-tee-web.jpg?v=1587785521"},{"product_id":"the-birthday-monster-womens-baroness-tee","title":"The Birthday Monster Women's Baroness Tee","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eThe Birthday Monster suffered from a great melancholy, for he constantly provided wondrous gifts for people of all ages around the world and never received any himself. He worked hard and diligently every single night with barely time to stop for a tea break. Nobody noticed him and they mistakenly thanked each other for the magnificent presents (how he envied Santa Claus, a celebrity amongst children). Did people even know what he looked like he wondered? Was there an image of him anywhere in the world?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt with rolled sleeves (150 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with The Birthday Monster story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black \u0026amp; Navy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e Sign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small monthly e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003cspan\u003e☜ \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Navy","offer_id":31564325060742,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":31564325126278,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Navy","offer_id":31564325257350,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":31564325322886,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Navy","offer_id":31564325421190,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":31564325453958,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":31564325519494,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":31564325585030,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Navy","offer_id":31564325650566,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":31564325683334,"sku":"","price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Birthday-Black-Baroness-Tee-web.jpg?v=1587788082"},{"product_id":"the-balloonman-womens-longsleeve-1","title":"The Balloonman Women's Longsleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere are many reasons why one might want to exchange one's head. You might have been cursed with a head that chatters about trivial things while you’re trying to nap, you may no longer wish to be mistaken for a famous pop-star - or, you may wish to be. You may be hoping to avoid your relatives, or trying to infiltrate the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003eBearded Men with Slender \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003eNoses Club.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan\u003e For these reasons, and many more, the Floating Head Exchange exists, overseen by one known as the Balloonman. To show the Balloonman you would like to partake in a head exchange, simply touch the palms of your hands to the ground and he will take care of the rest. Over the years this has led to several unfortunate incidents where passersby have tripped over and unwillingly participated in the one-way exchange (and then been charged for it). Some have suggested that the Balloonman himself may have something to do with the mysteriously trippable objects that frequently seem to surround the exchange, asking him to explain the presence of cobblestone-coloured casserole dishes, mirrored disco balls and rakes made entirely of glass. The Balloonman responds to these accusations with a shake (and a wobble) of his rubbery head and says, his smiling expression unchanged, “\u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003eYou clearly have a suspicious mind. Perhaps you could do with a new one?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan\u003e”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit. Sizing guide in image.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Balloonman story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black with White \u0026amp; Metallic Blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":31691904614534,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":31691904680070,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":31691904745606,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":31691904811142,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":31691904876678,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Balloonman-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1590116439"},{"product_id":"the-birthday-monster-womens-longsleeve-1","title":"The Birthday Monster Women's Longsleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Birthday Monster suffered from a great melancholy, for he constantly provided wondrous gifts for people of all ages around the world and never received any himself. He worked hard and diligently every single night with barely time to stop for a tea break. Nobody noticed him and they mistakenly thanked each other for the magnificent presents (how he envied Santa Claus, a celebrity amongst children). Did people even know what he looked like he wondered? Was there an image of him anywhere in the world?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Birthday Monster story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":31692134875270,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":31692134908038,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":31692134940806,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":31692134973574,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":31692135006342,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ XS","offer_id":39795942817926,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ Small","offer_id":39795942850694,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ Medium","offer_id":39795942883462,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ Large","offer_id":39795942916230,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":39795942948998,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Black-Birthday-Monster-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1590119075"},{"product_id":"the-accordion-of-unexpected-fortunes-womens-longsleeve-black","title":"The Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes Women's Longsleeve, Black","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEdgar came across the accordion in a park. The park was strange and mysterious; the trees did not move in time with the wind, nor the light with the sun. Certain leaves were seen to glint of their own accord, one after the other, and it was suspected they were sending coded messages - about what no one could ever quite be sure, other than that the whole business was strange and mysterious. Therefore Edgar wasn’t particularly surprised when he tripped over the accordion, partly as his toes were very large and he tripped over a lot, and partly because the park was so peculiar. He was slightly more surprised to pick up the accordion, and, after only three dud notes, find himself playing wondrous songs he had never heard before - especially as he had been told (frequently) that he had the musical ability of a goat with no ears. He sang always the same words, but somehow different things began to happen to the people who listened. One woman grew a tremendously large nose, which Edgar felt terrible about until he discovered she then went off to make her fortune as a famous moustache model. An old man who stopped to listen suddenly developed superb hearing in his elbow and became a highly successful spy, casually leaning against walls and surreptitiously recording surreptitious conversations. A third listener, a young lady, grew a dense layer of fur over her body, which enabled her to continue living in a mountain cave whilst she finished her best-selling book, “Culinary Skills and Table Manners of Yetis.” The accordion became known as the Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes, and Edgar and his accordion, rather unexpectedly, and most fortuitously, quickly became sought after.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":31701181366406,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":31701181431942,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":31701181497478,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":31701181563014,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Accordion-Women_s-Longsleeve-Black.jpg?v=1590282764"},{"product_id":"native-singing-cats-womens-stonewash-monarch-tee","title":"Native Singing Cats Women's Stonewash Monarch Tee, Pink\/Green Metallic","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (140 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Stonewash Grey with Metallic Pink \/ Green Print. This print is made by mixing the ink while printing, meaning each print will be slightly different than the next.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSizing guide in images. Model wears a size Small and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Native Singing Cats story card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMany of you will have heard how nature is connected. There are small fish that zap around big fish and keep them clean, sea anemones that hitch around on the backs of crabs, and plants that will feed you in exchange for a good watering. On the mysterious island of Klah, a species of native singing cat is responsible for the blooming of many fruits and flowers. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe sound of forty cats wailing together in an alleyway is not normally something anyone in their right mind would go out of their way to hear, but these particular cats are considered an audial delicacy, and draw crowds from distant lands who flock to the island at different times of the year to watch flowers unfurl and vegetables hurl themselves up from the earth, each to a different type of music. For example, when it is time for the parsnips to arise, the cats perform a jazzy funk number, and when it is time for the roses to bloom a tragic opera rings through the streets, because it is well known that roses love a good heroine death. There are love ballads to turn the lemons sour, psy-trance for the goji berries and cabbages are always up for a snazzy disco. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe cats still sometimes fight as cats (and temperamental artists) do, they brawl over creative differences and who gets the lead part in musicals, but they fight to music so it becomes a beautiful rhythmic fight dance, throwing shapes not punches and swiping xylophones not faces. When the fight dances occur strange new varieties of plants are often born, such as corn cobs made of pearls, forests of broccoli so enormous that people build treehuts in the branches, and perhaps most importantly, a potent purple catnip with sardines for flowers, which fuels the cats and continues the cycle of beasts and birds and all things fruity in Klah, \u0026amp; thus, the world continues.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":31725034143878,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":31725034176646,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":31725034209414,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":31725034242182,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":31725034274950,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Native-Cat-Stonewash-Monarch-Betty_b500049b-140d-41fd-93a8-18dfe8a40a4c.jpg?v=1725058250"},{"product_id":"sacred-feather-womens-longsleeve-1","title":"Sacred Feather Women's Longsleeve with Sequin Eye","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit. Emerald green sequin eye.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Sacred Feather story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.............................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSacred Feather was not always known by such a grandiose name. He was born Malcolm Blibbertrot, and the girls used to tease him because of his high-pitched voice and silly name. One day three unusual feathers grew out of his head and have remained there ever since. Not only do they add to his ravishingly good looks, the feathers act as a sort of antennae, each tuned into a different wavelength. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe first feather, a glorious spotted specimen, allows him to predict the weather in Klah with amazing accuracy. The second feather, adorned with diamonds, understands the mysterious whispered language of the Kazuut trees, who it turns out know some great jokes as well as being incredibly wise. The third feather, perhaps the most miraculous of all, is able to tell when a guest is thirsty, and which flavour of tea is their preference. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eBecause of these talents he has appeared on the national weather channel for a number of years, is the Kingdom’s first representative to the Kazuut Forests in the South of Klah, and is an excellent host to his numerous visitors. These days girls chase him for his autograph and his name is printed on souvenir tea-towels. Sometimes he wishes he could have become a simple mechanic and wear greasy overalls without appearing in  gossip magazines (SACRED FEATHER IN SHOCK-HORROR WARDROBE MISHAP!), but mostly he is content.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":31737414484102,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":31737414516870,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":31737414549638,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":31737414582406,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":31737414615174,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Sacred-Feather-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1749368053"},{"product_id":"the-galaxy-creation-club-womens-longsleeve","title":"The Galaxy Creation Club Women's Longsleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAs far back as their memories stretched they had met on Wednesdays to create galaxies. Pauline sometimes thought she remembered a Wednesday cave painting class several thousand years ago, but the other spirits said she was just being fanciful, and anyway Wednesdays didn't exist back then. It was also a mystery to them why it was so important to keep creating galaxies, although Francine suspected the answer to the mystery was MYSTERY, because when they went through a brief phase of not meeting and got regular jobs moving bits of paper around and stapling things to other things as people had always advised them to, the world suddenly became smaller, and some stars fizzled out before their time and fell into the sea. Once the ocean had stopped shining and sizzling, those same people complained that things had become less sparkly and too known - not to mention all the magpies in the world, who love a bit of mystery and sparkle, took to a horrible wailing \u0026amp; flailing, and the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eGalaxy Creation Club\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e was hurriedly reformed. The night before Wednesday (often, but not always a Tuesday), a shooting star would be sent by one of the spirits revealing the meeting place. This moved around so as not to annoy the neighbours, for sometimes the creations were loud and involved chanting and the banging of saucepan lids, and other times they were utterly silent but required bursts of bright light followed by bursts of dark light, and dark light can be very disconcerting if you aren't accustomed to it. The locations were chosen in turn, because if Pauline had her way they would always be meeting in difficult to reach treehouses, or moonlit swamps which sound romantic but are also prone to vampirish insects, and Gregor found this very distracting while he was in the zone. In the zone they always muttered or sang or yelled or silently thought the ultimate words of creation, the words of their belonging and the binding of all things: KINGDOM OF KLAH ❇︎✺✬\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Galaxy Creation Club story-card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":31740777169030,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":31740777201798,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":31740777234566,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":31740777267334,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":31740777300102,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Galaxy-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1591177226"},{"product_id":"henry-the-culinary-star-womens-monarch-tee-mauve","title":"Henry the Culinary Star Women's Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eHenry was always hungry. He was hungry in the morning, in the night time, in the daytime, and in the timeless time that exists in space – he was born hungry, and this was immediately a problem for his mother, because stars do not eat. She tried giving him toy moons to play with, made from painstakingly collected and sculpted stardust – Henry screamed a terrible scream that caused a flock of comets to veer off course and cascade into the wrong planet. She tried patting him awkwardly on the back, and Henry howled a terrible howl that shook the knees of some distant black holes, and black holes do not have knees.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eFinally she took him for a soothing float about the towns of Klah, and here they discovered the answer. Wherever they appeared, culinary miracles would happen. Those with barely a stale crust of bread to eat would find the crusts were not just fresh, but were whole feasts of Klah’s finest culinary delights (think eggs with egg jam, boiled raisin steaks, etc).\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eArch nemeses, feuding since before their grandmothers’ grandmothers were wisps of consciousness, suddenly found themselves sharing a delicious hot lettuce pie together, and the pastry would warm their cold hearts, the soft lettuce would soften their anger, and soon the past was forgotten and dishes were being washed and dried together.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003ePeople that lived alone and usually ate toast in front of the TV were transported to street banquets with real vegetables and jokes with the neighbours.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eAnd this is what Henry sated his hunger with. So citizens, if one day the sky above your town is suddenly blotted out, do not fear! It is (probably) Henry, the Culinary Star. Prepare your bibs.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (160 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. This garment is designed to be hip length with a loose fit in the body.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Turquoise with Metallic Mauve print, and Mauve with Metallic Gold print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Henry the Culinary Star Storycard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" data-mce-href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Turquoise \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39261947068550,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Turquoise \/ Rolled","offer_id":40190425923718,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Mauve \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39308959252614,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Mauve \/ Rolled","offer_id":40190425956486,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Turquoise \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39261947101318,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Turquoise \/ Rolled","offer_id":40190425989254,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Mauve \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39308959285382,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Mauve \/ Rolled","offer_id":40190426022022,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Turquoise \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39261947134086,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Turquoise \/ Rolled","offer_id":40190426054790,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Mauve \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39308959318150,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Mauve \/ Rolled","offer_id":40190426087558,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Turquoise \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39261947166854,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Turquoise \/ Rolled","offer_id":40190426120326,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Mauve \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39308959350918,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Mauve \/ Rolled","offer_id":40190426153094,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Henry-Culinary-Star-Turquoise-Monarch_27dec55f-0605-4ab5-a787-9c94de17d11f.jpg?v=1685936354"},{"product_id":"the-pancake-seas-the-wizard-hatted-fish-womens-monarch-tee-stonewash-blue","title":"The Pancake Seas \u0026 The Wizard Hatted Fish Monarch Tee, Stonewash Blue","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (160 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. This garment is designed to be hip length with a loose fit in the body.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Stonewash Blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSizing guide in images. Model wears a size Small and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Pancake Seas \u0026amp; the Wizard Hatted Fish Storycard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e...............................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eIn the North of Klah you can find many things; six legged horses, trees shaped like birds, and birds shaped like trees - and a clan of fish in wizard hats, gifted to them by a travelling wizard. The fish had done him a good deed after they retrieved his favourite pair of salad servers, which he had accidentally dropped off the side of his boat while enthusiastically making his lunch. “These hats will change the world” he said, then vigorously tucked into his salad with no further explanation.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThe fish felt very important. “These hats must contain an immense power” they said, and had to steady themselves on the flank of a passing kraken at the thought. “We must be very careful”.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSomewhere along the way, one of the fish had heard, or possibly misheard, or potentially dreamt, that magic hats are related to icecream cones, and do not work when they are soggy.“But the hats must also be worn!” they said. “Important things should not be hidden away!”“If we leap out of the water enough they will not get wet”, a bright young fish named Walter said with conviction, and conviction is catching. And so they constantly leapt from the ocean in a rather beautiful and hypnotic formation – I cannot say for sure whether the hats did or did not get wet as there was never time to stop and check.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eAlthough this may seem of no great importance, there are many theories on the effects. Some say the constant flurry of motion helps the sun rise, others that it makes the world turn. Perhaps, perhaps. What it most certainly does, is create a churning that feeds and plumps the normally meagre waves into great thrashing beasts of salt.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThis part of the ocean used to be very calm, and was known as the Pancake Seas. Among the Pancake Seas stood the sharp and deadly Rocks of Cacti, famous for destroying ships and popping children’s balloons.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eFor years they had remained there, their spiked columns rising out of the flat sea, untouched by the waves, but now the waters churned by the fishes constant leaping crashed and dashed all about them, and very soon they became as smooth as the underside of a whale – in fact lonely and slightly confused whales started arriving and rubbing up against them.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eMore flurry was created, and now when people need a bit of glass worn down to make a good cheese knife handle, they take them to the Pancake Seas and the Hatted Fish. The Hatted Fish believe the people have come to have their treasures blessed by the magic* of their legendarily dry hats and vow even more vehemently to keep them so.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cem\u003e*No one has ever verified if the hats are actually magic. They have certainly changed the world though – Klah now has an abundance of glass handled cheese knives.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":39262602166406,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":39262602199174,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":39262602231942,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":39262602264710,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Wizard-Fish-Monarch.jpg?v=1615336704"},{"product_id":"burglavorous-womens-stonewash-monarch-tee","title":"Burglavorous Snitcheri Women's Stonewash Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (160 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. This garment is designed to be hip length and relaxed in the body.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Stonewash Grey.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Burglavorous Snitcheri story card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eThe Burglavorous (\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eBurglavorous snitcheri\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e), like any plant with several mouths and an appetite for more than just sunshine, should be treated with caution. Although generally a hardy houseplant that can survive in most conditions, it should not be placed within reach of anything valuable, for given the chance, the plant will burgle all your possessions, and where they end up, no one is sure. The burglaries are not only limited to silver spoons and common household rubies; there have even been cases of expensive miniature poodles and pedigree cats disappearing, and we won’t speak of what happened to Lady Zirconia who foolishly tried to water a fully grown Burglavorous with a hand bejewelled in precious rings.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39380760035462,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39380760068230,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39380760100998,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39380760133766,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39380760166534,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Burglavorous-Stonewash-Monarch-Womens-Tee.jpg?v=1624773742"},{"product_id":"the-certified-crab-guides-of-klah-womens-monarch-tee-pink","title":"The Certified Crab Guides of Klah Women's Monarch Tee, Orchid","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (180gsm), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand with organic inks. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSleeves can be sewn rolled or left long.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Orchid and \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/products\/the-certified-crab-guides-of-klah-womens-monarch-tee-stonewash\"\u003eStonewash.\u003c\/a\u003e Accompanied by the Certified Crab Guides of Klah Storycard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e......................................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eEstuaries are magical places because they transform constantly, as the sea makes regular visits before dashing off to another party, and back again, rhythmically and reliably but also fashionably later than the day before. One particular estuary in the Kingdom of Klah, the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003eOreh-wuto,\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ehas a few extra magic parts to it - there’s a little  island stage in the middle of it that Herman the Merman often brings his circus to, where the crowds gather and eat extra salty popcorn. There’s a section of reeds home to a family of ducks who are said to be royalty because their feet are not webbed, but instead have long toes which they use to play the harp with moderate competence. There are patches of quicksand which are not like in the movies, always sucking you down to the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s3\"\u003eearth’s core\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003e, but rather small societies of sand that value being prompt even though they don’t have anything to do, so they tend to dash around aimlessly – great for exfoliating the feet or if you need a bit of furniture sanded, not so great for a snooze in the sun. Should you want to go to the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s3\"\u003eearth’s core\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003e, you’d be better to try the labyrinths of crab holes that tunnel left and right and up and down and back and forth through both sand and mud \u0026amp; time and space. People sometimes speak of wormholes, but really they mean the crab holes of Klah. The holes are not signposted however, so enlisting the services of a Certified Crab Guide is advised. Always ask to see their certification papers, because rogue guides do exist and may take you somewhere quite different, like outer space, and then steal your boots\u003c\/span\u003e. \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Orchid \/ Rolled","offer_id":39400801665158,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Orchid \/ Rolled","offer_id":39400801697926,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Orchid \/ Rolled","offer_id":39400801730694,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Orchid \/ Rolled","offer_id":39400801763462,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Orchid \/ Unrolled","offer_id":41744804315270,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Orchid \/ Unrolled","offer_id":41744804348038,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Orchid \/ Unrolled","offer_id":41744804380806,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Orchid \/ Unrolled","offer_id":41744804413574,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Crab_Orchid_Monarch.jpg?v=1751895594"},{"product_id":"the-certified-crab-guides-of-klah-womens-monarch-tee-stonewash","title":"The Certified Crab Guides of Klah Women's Monarch Tee, Stonewash","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (140 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eSizing guide in images. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eModel is wearing a Small and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Stonewash Grey and Stonewash Blue. An epic feat of handprinting, this one literally takes us hours! \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Certified Crab Guides of Klah Storycard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eThe Certified Crabs of Klah Story:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEstuaries are magical places because they transform constantly, as the sea makes regular visits before dashing off to another party, and back again, rhythmically and reliably but also fashionably later than the day before.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne particular estuary in the Kingdom of Klah, the\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eOreh-wuto,\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ehas a few extra magic parts to it - there’s a little island stage in the middle of it that Herman the Merman often brings his circus to, where the crowds gather and eat extra salty popcorn. There’s a section of reeds home to a family of ducks who are said to be royalty because their feet are not webbed, but instead have long toes which they use to play the harp with moderate competence. There are patches of quicksand which are not like in the movies, always sucking you down to the\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s3\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eearth’s core\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e, but rather small societies of sand that value being prompt even though they don’t have anything to do, so they tend to dash around aimlessly – great for exfoliating the feet or if you need a bit of furniture sanded, not so great for a snooze in the sun. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eShould you want to go to the\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s3\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eearth’s core\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e, you’d be better to try the labyrinths of crab holes that tunnel left and right and up and down and back and forth through both sand and mud \u0026amp; time and space. People sometimes speak of wormholes, but really they mean the crab holes of Klah. The holes are not signposted however, so enlisting the services of a Certified Crab Guide is advised. Always ask to see their certification papers, because rogue guides do exist and may take you somewhere quite different, like outer space, and then steal your boots\u003c\/span\u003e. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39400809300102,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40375842898054,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39400809332870,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40375842930822,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39400809365638,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40375842963590,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39400809398406,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40375842996358,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Crab-Stonewash-Blue-Monarch.jpg?v=1723275754"},{"product_id":"copy-of-limited-edition-the-infinity-snakes-of-time-womens-monarch-tee-fluro","title":"The Infinity Snakes of Time Women's Monarch Tee, Limited Edition Fluro","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% combed cotton crew-neck tee (180 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand with waterbased inks. Sleeves can be rolled or left longer.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Infinity Snakes of Time Storycard. Fluro ink glows under UV light!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis print is limited edition and numbered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSizing guide in images. Model is wearing a size Small and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e..................................................\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Infinity Snakes of Time\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople will tell you nothing lasts forever, and these people are wrong. It is true that many things do not last forever, for example yoghurt, or a steep hill you might be climbing whilst carrying a large statue of a horse on your back, and in these situations, it is useful to know that such things will not last forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe people who tell you nothing lasts forever, whilst well meaning, have clearly never heard of the Infinity Snakes, who \u003cem\u003ehad \u003c\/em\u003elasted forever, and \u003cem\u003ewould\u003c\/em\u003e last forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis was their job, simply to exist and keep the time spectrum in balance. There was a little bit of paperwork (“Memo - July 12 - Yes we are still here”), and on Saturdays they would carve JERRY + SIMON 4EVA into public tables and pieces of setting concrete.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes of course they did their own thing; Jerry quite liked a good slither through the forest on her own, and Simon liked listening to his records of the Native Singing Cats Choir, loudly and immersively, and without Jerry turning the volume down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd sometimes of course they quarrelled, tongues forked and fizzing - and every few decades Jerry would stamp her tail - but mostly they cackled, and danced, and fought Time Crime, shooting lasers from their powerful snake eyes at villains who tried to upset the balance by Greed or Theft (including the stealing of their paperwork) or by creeping up on the Infinity Snakes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThose shot with the lasers would suddenly find strange time related occurrences slithering into their lives – yoghurt would sour before their eyes and those steep, statue laden hills would drag on impossibly long. One villain complained of washing that would never dry (and ended up having to live in an underwater cave where wet clothes were not a problem); yet another had all their clothes crumble into an ancient dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor, always the time lasers balanced out; if time was taken from one, it was given to another. And therefore, if any of you are considering becoming a Time Villain take note – you are wasting your time trying to battle the Infinity Snakes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey \u003cem\u003ealways\u003c\/em\u003e have each other’s backs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e...................................................................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black, Fluro \/ Rolled","offer_id":39402697883782,"sku":"","price":89.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black, Fluro \/ Rolled","offer_id":39402697916550,"sku":"","price":89.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black, Fluro \/ Rolled","offer_id":39402697949318,"sku":"","price":89.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black, Fluro \/ Rolled","offer_id":39402697982086,"sku":"","price":89.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Black, Fluro \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40890182828166,"sku":"","price":89.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Black, Fluro \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40890182860934,"sku":"","price":89.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Black, Fluro \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40890182893702,"sku":"","price":89.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black, Fluro \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40890182926470,"sku":"","price":89.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Infinity-Snakes-Black-Monarch.jpg?v=1725001330"},{"product_id":"henry-the-culinary-star-womens-monarch-tee-dark-green","title":"Henry the Culinary Star Women's Monarch Tee, Dark Green, Metallic","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (160 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes in Dark Green with Metallic Mauve print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSizing guide in images. Model is 158cm tall and wears a size Small.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Henry the Culinary Star Storycard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eHenry was always hungry. He was hungry in the morning, in the night time, in the daytime, and in the timeless time that exists in space – he was born hungry, and this was immediately a problem for his mother, because stars do not eat. She tried giving him toy moons to play with, made from painstakingly collected and sculpted stardust – Henry screamed a terrible scream that caused a flock of comets to veer off course and cascade into the wrong planet. She tried patting him awkwardly on the back, and Henry howled a terrible howl that shook the knees of some distant black holes, and black holes do not have knees.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eFinally she took him for a soothing float about the towns of Klah, and here they discovered the answer. Wherever they appeared, culinary miracles would happen. Those with barely a stale crust of bread to eat would find the crusts were not just fresh, but were whole feasts of Klah’s finest culinary delights (think eggs with egg jam, boiled raisin steaks, etc).\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eArch nemeses, feuding since before their grandmothers’ grandmothers were wisps of consciousness, suddenly found themselves sharing a delicious hot lettuce pie together, and the pastry would warm their cold hearts, the soft lettuce would soften their anger, and soon the past was forgotten and dishes were being washed and dried together.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003ePeople that lived alone and usually ate toast in front of the TV were transported to street banquets with real vegetables and jokes with the neighbours.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eAnd this is what Henry sated his hunger with. So citizens, if one day the sky above your town is suddenly blotted out, do not fear! It is (probably) Henry, the Culinary Star. Prepare your bibs.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\" data-mce-href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Dark Green \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40190425563270,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Dark Green \/ Rolled","offer_id":39423183782022,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Dark Green \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40190425596038,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Dark Green \/ Rolled","offer_id":39423183847558,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Dark Green \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40190425628806,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Dark Green \/ Rolled","offer_id":39423183880326,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Green \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40190425661574,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Green \/ Rolled","offer_id":39423183913094,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Dark Green \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40190425694342,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Dark Green \/ Rolled","offer_id":39423183978630,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Henry-Monarch-Green.jpg?v=1626771474"},{"product_id":"the-boney-birds-of-revelry-womens-longsleeve","title":"The Boney Birds of Revelry Women's Longsleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) with sequin eye, produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. 100% cotton. Relaxed fit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Boney Birds of Revelry story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.........................................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Boney Birds of Revelry\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eome people are very good at life. I do not mean that they have houses that match their briefcases and never wash their whites with a stray red sock, or that they have a five-year-plan in a folder which is in a bookcase, not accidentally stored in the woodpile. I mean that they are at all the gigs and at the front of all the conga lines, have had boombox parties in underwater caves with swarms of raving electric eels, and have watched the sun rise from the tops of mountains, the bottom of lakes, and even from inside the earth’s core. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eI speak really of the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003eBoney Birds of Revelry\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, whose\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003esequinned nests are always impressively strewn with glitter and are often mistaken for giant disco balls. It is considered impossible to keep up with the Boney Birds’ dance moves, which go on for days, take up a lot of space, and occasionally the teeth of unwitting passersby. The birds absorb the energy of joyous revelry like a black leotard left in the sunlight,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eand after a good party they often glow in the dark, which in turn leads to more revelry, and fabulous glowing synchronised dancing. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey are said to possess ancient powers that cause jovial things to happen at parties - there have been reports of table dancing sloths emerging out of dips, party bags that suddenly contain real parties, and on one memorable night all the guests sprouted resplendent wings, soared upwards into the sky, and danced so hard on on the clouds that one was accidentally burst, and a desert transformed into the sparkliest lake of all time (now home to a large gathering of magpies). The bones the birds wear around their necks and in their party hats symbolise the indestructible spirit but also the transitory, and the duty to celebrate the present, so although they are wild, they are also wise.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":39772328067206,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":39772328099974,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":39772328132742,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":39772328165510,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":39772328198278,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Boney-Birds-black-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1651995755"},{"product_id":"the-sky-gardeners-womens-monarch-tee","title":"The Sky Gardeners Women's Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eT\u003c\/span\u003ehe Sky Gardeners were named Fenella and Horace. Not all skies have a garden, just like not all houses have a garden, but the sky of Klah is so abundant that at certain times of the year the sunset was green, and the sun decorated her face with petals.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eIt hadn’t always been this way though. There was a time where everything was shrivelled and gasping, flowers lay right down on the earth to rest their feeble necks, and weeds like the claws of vultures choked everything, and sometimes grabbed hold of the clouds until they cried and cried and rained and rained in one place for so long that whole towns were washed away. Meetings were held and feet were stamped, and an ad was thus placed on the great canvas of the sky: SKY GARDENERS WANTED, APPLY WITHIN. Shortly afterwards Fenella and Horace moved in, or rather up, with one very large and very heavy battered suitcase between them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eInside the suitcase was an assortment of books, but they were not books on gardening, because Fenella and Horace knew what they were doing - and besides, sky gardens are very different to earth gardens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eThe plants of the sky do not need water, they thrive off diamonds, which may sound wildly expensive and impossible to keep up with, but luckily Fenella and Horace had discovered they had been born with a special ability to produce these.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eThe way they did it was this: Fenella would read to Horace from the suitcase library; romances with tragic endings, or excerpts from cooking shows where the dish completely failed, and Horace would cry tears of diamonds to feed the plants with. Sometimes she read him comic skits and he cried with laughter, or heart-warming tales about dogs on expeditions hoping to be reunited with their long-lost owners, and then he would well up with happiness, and cried a different shade of diamond.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eThe plants seemed to like that too; it seemed they needed all the colours and all the types to thrive and jive and live their most abundant lives, with many sides, just like a diamond.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003e*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eTo read about what would happen when Horace found a story particularly tearful and cried a little too much, until the plants were overwatered and spilled down to the earth, find your way to the story of \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/the-lantern-moths-commemoration\"\u003eThe Lantern Moths \u0026amp; The Radiant Ranges\u003c\/a\u003e...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (160 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. This garment is designed to be hip length with a loose fit in the body. Sleeves can be sewn rolled or left longer \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e(please check for both options if your size seems sold out).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Sky Gardeners story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity. Sizing guide in images. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Pink and \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/products\/the-sky-gardeners-womens-monarch-tee-2\"\u003eBlack\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":39816221917318,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39816221950086,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":39816222015622,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39816222048390,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":39816222113926,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39816222146694,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":39816222212230,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39816222244998,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Sky-Gardeners-Pink-Womens-Monarch-Tee.jpg?v=1657789851"},{"product_id":"the-lantern-moths-commemoration-womens-stonewash-monarch-tee","title":"The Lantern Moths' Commemoration Women's Stonewash Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (150 GSM) in stonewash, produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by The Lantern Moths Commemoration story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.............................................................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Radiant Ranges are not glorious and light as one would imagine, but dark and ominous, and strange things happen there – perhaps the strangest of all being the diamonds that sometimes rain from the sky, like the most radiantly dangerous hail you have ever seen, or been smacked in the face with. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTo avoid injuries, a magnificent group of lantern moths provide a warning system before each diamond fall, flying over the valleys and signaling to the citizens to helmet up the cows and hurry inside. Due to the abundance of diamonds in the area, anything that can be made from diamond is, from houses to harpsichords, tables to toothbrushes, and sometimes the teeth themselves. On the unusual occasion that it is sunny, the citizens are forced to wear special diamond-blocking glasses to protect their eyes from the glare, and stop them developing what is commonly known as “sparkle-eye”. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe lantern moths have performed this honorable warning duty for as long as anyone can remember. When they are not signaling, they are forecasting the next fall. They do this in a number of ways: as well as having a weather station with the usual gadgets and gizmos, they watch the skies, they feel the vibrations of the weather on their wings, and they listen to the whispers of the diamonds. The Kingdom of Klah has created this garment to commemorate the fine and important job the lantern moths do.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39816802697350,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":39816804532358,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39816802762886,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":39816804565126,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39816802828422,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":39816804597894,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":39816802893958,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":39816804630662,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Stonewash Grey","offer_id":44083751354502,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":44083751387270,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Lantern-Moths-Stonewash-Womens-Tee.jpg?v=1657834110"},{"product_id":"the-accordion-of-unexpected-fortunes-womens-monarch-tee","title":"The Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes Women's Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (180 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand with eco friendly inks. Sleeves can be rolled or left long.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eModel is wearing a Small and is 158cm tall (sizing guide in images).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes story:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eEdgar came across the accordion in a park. The park was strange and mysterious; the trees did not move in time with the wind, nor the light with the sun. Certain leaves were seen to glint of their own accord, one after the other, and it was suspected they were sending coded messages - about what no one could ever quite be sure, other than that the whole business was strange and mysterious.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eTherefore Edgar wasn’t particularly surprised when he tripped over the accordion, partly as his toes were very large and he tripped over a lot, and partly because the park was so peculiar. He was slightly more surprised to pick up the accordion, and, after only three dud notes, find himself playing wondrous songs he had never heard before - especially as he had been told (frequently) that he had the musical ability of a goat with no ears.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eHe sang always the same words, but somehow different things began to happen to the people who listened. One woman grew a tremendously large nose, which Edgar felt terrible about until he discovered she then went off to make her fortune as a famous moustache model. An old man who stopped to listen suddenly developed superb hearing in his elbow and became a highly successful spy, casually leaning against walls and surrepticiously recording surreptitious conversations. A third listener, a young lady, grew a dense layer of fur over her body, which enabled her to continue living in a mountain cave whilst she finished her best-selling book, “Culinary Skills and Table Manners of Yetis.”\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThe accordion became known as the Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes, and Edgar and his accordion, rather unexpectedly, and most fortuitously, quickly became sought after.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/www.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39816845820038,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39816845885574,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39816845951110,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":39816846016646,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":43929128468614,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":43929128501382,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":43929128534150,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":43929128566918,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Accordion-Pink-Womens-Tee.jpg?v=1657840307"},{"product_id":"the-sky-gardeners-womens-cuffed-longsleeve-tee","title":"The Sky Gardeners Women's Powercuff Longsleeve Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% combed cotton longsleeve t-shirt (180 GSM) with high ribbed powerneck and powercuffs. Relaxed fit, shorter length body with long sleeves. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSizing guide in images, preshrunk to minimise shrinkage. Model is wearing an XS and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduced under ethical working conditions, and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e............................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eComes with The Sky Gardeners story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity. \u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eT\u003c\/span\u003ehe Sky Gardeners were named Fenella and Horace. Not all skies have a garden, just like not all houses have a garden, but the sky of Klah is so abundant that at certain times of the year the sunset was green, and the sun decorated her face with petals.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eIt hadn’t always been this way though. There was a time where everything was shrivelled and gasping, flowers lay right down on the earth to rest their feeble necks, and weeds like the claws of vultures choked everything, and sometimes grabbed hold of the clouds until they cried and cried and rained and rained in one place for so long that whole towns were washed away. Meetings were held and feet were stamped, and an ad was thus placed on the great canvas of the sky: SKY GARDENERS WANTED, APPLY WITHIN. Shortly afterwards Fenella and Horace moved in, or rather up, with one very large and very heavy battered suitcase between them.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eInside the suitcase was an assortment of books, but they were not books on gardening, because Fenella and Horace knew what they were doing - and besides, sky gardens are very different to earth gardens. The plants of the sky do not need water, they thrive off diamonds, which may sound wildly expensive and impossible to keep up with, but luckily Fenella and Horace had discovered they had been born with a special ability to produce these.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThe way they did it was this: Fenella would read to Horace from the suitcase library; romances with tragic endings, or excerpts from cooking shows where the dish completely failed, and Horace would cry tears of diamonds to feed the plants with. Sometimes she read him comic skits and he cried with laughter, or heart-warming tales about dogs on expeditions hoping to be reunited with their long-lost owners, and then he would well up with happiness, and cried a different shade of diamond.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThe plants seemed to like that too; it seemed they needed all the colours and all the types to thrive and jive and live their most abundant lives, with many sides, just like a diamond.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eTo read about what would happen when Horace found a story particularly tearful and cried a little too much, until the plants were overwatered and spilled down to the earth, find your way to the story of\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/the-lantern-moths-commemoration\"\u003eThe Lantern Moths \u0026amp; The Radiant Ranges\u003c\/a\u003e...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Pale Lilac","offer_id":39820608733318,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Pale Lilac","offer_id":39820552175750,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Pale Lilac","offer_id":39820552208518,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Pale Lilac","offer_id":39820552241286,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Pale Lilac","offer_id":39820552274054,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Sky-Gardeners-Powecuff-Betty.jpg?v=1724987059"},{"product_id":"native-singing-cats-monarch-tee","title":"Native Singing Cats Women's Monarch Tee (Metallic)","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (180 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. Sleeves can be sewn rolled or left longer (please check both options if your size seems sold out). \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSizing guide in images. Model wears a size Small and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black with metallic green\/pink roses, and \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/the-native-singing-cats\/products\/native-singing-cats-monarch-tee-2\"\u003ePink\u003c\/a\u003e. The roses are handprinted by mixing ink so each print will be different to the next.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAccompanied by Native Singing Cats story-card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✦ Many of you will have heard how nature is connected. There are small fish that zap around big fish and keep them clean, sea anemones that hitch around on the backs of crabs, and plants that will feed you in exchange for a good watering. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOn the mysterious island of Klah, a species of native singing cat is responsible for the blooming of many fruits and flowers. The sound of forty cats wailing together in an alleyway is not normally something anyone in their right mind would go out of their way to hear, but these particular cats are considered an audial delicacy, and draw crowds from distant lands who flock to the island at different times of the year to watch flowers unfurl and vegetables hurl themselves up from the earth, each to a different type of music. For example, when it is time for the parsnips to arise, the cats perform a jazzy funk number, and when it is time for the roses to bloom a tragic opera rings through the streets, because it is well known that roses love a good heroine death. There are love ballads to turn the lemons sour, psy-trance for the goji berries and cabbages are always up for a snazzy disco. The cats still sometimes fight as cats (and temperamental artists) do, they brawl over creative differences and who gets the lead part in musicals, but they fight to music so it becomes a beautiful rhythmic fight dance, throwing shapes not punches and swiping xylophones not faces. When the fight dances occur strange new varieties of plants are often born, such as corn cobs made of pearls, forests of broccoli so enormous that people build treehuts in the branches, and perhaps most importantly, a potent purple catnip with sardines for flowers, which fuels the cats and continues the cycle of beasts and birds and all things fruity in Klah, \u0026amp; thus, the world continues.✦\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40157747937414,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40157747970182,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40157748068486,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40157748101254,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40157748199558,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40157748232326,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40157748330630,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40157748363398,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Native-Cat-Black-Monarch-Metallic-Betty.jpg?v=1725061429"},{"product_id":"native-singing-cats-monarch-tee-2","title":"Native Singing Cats Women's Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (180 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eModel is pictured wearing a Small and is 158cm tall (sizing guide in images).Sleeves can be sewn rolled or left longer. \u003c\/span\u003eAccompanied by Native Singing Cats story-card.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Pink and \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/the-native-singing-cats\/products\/native-singing-cats-monarch-tee\"\u003eBlack\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e✦ Many of you will have heard how nature is connected. There are small fish that zap around big fish and keep them clean, sea anemones that hitch around on the backs of crabs, and plants that will feed you in exchange for a good watering. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOn the mysterious island of Klah, a species of native singing cat is responsible for the blooming of many fruits and flowers. The sound of forty cats wailing together in an alleyway is not normally something anyone in their right mind would go out of their way to hear, but these particular cats are considered an audial delicacy, and draw crowds from distant lands who flock to the island at different times of the year to watch flowers unfurl and vegetables hurl themselves up from the earth, each to a different type of music. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor example, when it is time for the parsnips to arise, the cats perform a jazzy funk number, and when it is time for the roses to bloom a tragic opera rings through the streets, because it is well known that roses love a good heroine death. There are love ballads to turn the lemons sour, psy-trance for the goji berries and cabbages are always up for a snazzy disco. The cats still sometimes fight as cats (and temperamental artists) do, they brawl over creative differences and who gets the lead part in musicals, but they fight to music so it becomes a beautiful rhythmic fight dance, throwing shapes not punches and swiping xylophones not faces. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen the fight dances occur strange new varieties of plants are often born, such as corn cobs made of pearls, forests of broccoli so enormous that people build treehuts in the branches, and perhaps most importantly, a potent purple catnip with sardines for flowers, which fuels the cats and continues the cycle of beasts and birds and all things fruity in Klah, \u0026amp; thus, the world continues.✦\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":40158414274694,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40158414307462,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":40158414340230,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40158414372998,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":40158414405766,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40158414438534,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Pink \/ Rolled","offer_id":40158414471302,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Pink \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40158414504070,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Cat-Monarch-Pink-Rolled-Tee-web_817b3493-d7a8-415a-a669-62fee9d3f4d2.jpg?v=1683579898"},{"product_id":"sacred-feather-metallic-monarch-tee","title":"Sacred Feather Metallic Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (180 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. This garment is designed to be hip length with a loose fit in the body. Sleeves can be sewn rolled or left longer (\u003c\/span\u003eplease check for both options if your size seems sold out).\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSizing guide in images. Model wears a Small and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Sacred Feather story-card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Dark Green with Metallic Green print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e.........................................................\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✦ Sacred Feather was not always known by such a grandiose name. He was born Malcolm Blibbertrot, and the girls used to tease him because of his high-pitched voice and silly name. One day three unusual feathers grew out of his head and have remained there ever since. Not only do they add to his ravishingly good looks, the feathers act as a sort of antennae, each tuned into a different wavelength. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe first feather, a glorious spotted specimen, allows him to predict the weather in Klah with amazing accuracy. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe second feather, adorned with diamonds, understands the mysterious whispered language of the Kazuut trees, who it turns out know some great jokes as well as being incredibly wise. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe third feather, perhaps the most miraculous of all, is able to tell when a guest is thirsty, and which flavour of tea is their preference. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause of these talents he has appeared on the national weather channel for a number of years, is the Kingdom’s first representative to the Kazuut Forests in the South of Klah, and is an excellent host to his numerous visitors. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThese days girls chase him for his autograph and his name is printed on souvenir tea-towels. Sometimes he wishes he could have become a simple mechanic and wear greasy overalls without appearing in  gossip magazines (SACRED FEATHER IN SHOCK-HORROR WARDROBE MISHAP!), but mostly he is content. ✦\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Dark Green \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40182468706438,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Dark Green \/ Rolled","offer_id":40182468673670,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Dark Green \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40182468771974,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Dark Green \/ Rolled","offer_id":40182468739206,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Dark Green \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40182468837510,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Dark Green \/ Rolled","offer_id":40182468804742,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Green \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40182468903046,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Green \/ Rolled","offer_id":40182468870278,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Sacred-Feather-Green-Monarch-Betty.jpg?v=1749368108"},{"product_id":"les-moon-poet-monarch-tee","title":"Les Moon (Poet) Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Second Moon of Klah had rather a lot of time on his hands. Occasionally he was required to perform some kind of exotic eclipse, or paint his face blue, or red, or turn this way or that way, but mostly he was left to his own devices, particularly as the First Moon of Klah was rather bossy and tended to hog most of the moon duties herself. Lesley (as he was commonly known) thus learnt to amuse himself by dedicating himself to many different hobbies, none of which it could be said he was particularly skilled at. He had attempted at one time or another to become a master finger puppeteer, a pastry chef, a baton twirler, a patchwork quilter and an avant garde keyboardist, but when these did not work out (for obvious, fingerless reasons) he eventually settled on the idea of becoming the world’s most prolific poet, even ordering a shiny name-badge that said LES MOON, POET (PROLIFIC). Unfortunately he had no interest in writing about things he knew – instead he wrote poems about walking on the beach: “\u003ci\u003ethe water felt thick under my feet and the sand silky \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003ebehind my ears\u003c\/i\u003e”. He wrote about hang-gliding, which he thought was called ‘ham-gliding’: “\u003ci\u003eI became one with the ham and together \/ \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003ewe went gliding\u003c\/i\u003e”. He recited his poetry in a loud, booming moon-voice to everyone within hearing, polished his name-badge, and waited patiently to be discovered.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (180 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. This garment is designed to be hip length \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003ewith a loose fit in the body. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSleeves can be sewn rolled or left longer \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e(please check for both options if your size seems sold out).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black with Metallic Silver Print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Les Moon (Poet) story card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" data-mce-href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40183028547718,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40183029694598,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40183028580486,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40183029727366,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40183028613254,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40183029760134,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40183028646022,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40183029792902,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40183028678790,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40183029825670,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Les-Moon-Monarch-Tee-black.jpg?v=1686890510"},{"product_id":"the-boney-birds-of-revelry-striped-monarch-tee","title":"The Boney Birds of Revelry Striped Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eS\u003c\/span\u003eome people are very good at life. I do not mean that they have houses that match their briefcases and never wash their whites with a stray red sock, or that they have a five-year-plan in a folder which is in a bookcase, not accidentally stored in the woodpile. I mean that they are at all the gigs and at the front of all the conga lines, have had boombox parties in underwater caves with swarms of raving electric eels, and have watched the sun rise from the tops of mountains, the bottom of lakes, and even from inside the earth’s core. I speak really of the \u003ci\u003eBoney Birds of Revelry\u003c\/i\u003e, whose\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003esequinned nests are always impressively strewn with glitter and are often mistaken for giant disco balls. It is considered impossible to keep up with the Boney Birds’ dance moves, which go on for days, take up a lot of space, and occasionally the teeth of unwitting passersby. The birds absorb the energy of joyous revelry like a black leotard left in the sunlight,\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003eand after a good party they often glow in the dark, which in turn leads to more revelry, and fabulous glowing synchronised dancing. They are said to possess ancient powers that cause jovial things to happen at parties - there have been reports of table dancing sloths emerging out of dips, party bags that suddenly contain real parties, and on one memorable night all the guests sprouted resplendent wings, soared upwards into the sky, and danced so hard on on the clouds that one was accidentally burst, and a desert transformed into the sparkliest lake of all time (now home to a large gathering of magpies). The bones the birds wear around their necks and in their party hats symbolise the indestructible spirit but also the transitory, and the duty to celebrate the present, so although they are wild, they are also wise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton t-shirt (160 GSM), \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eproduced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand using organic inks. This garment is designed to be hip length \u003c\/span\u003ewith a loose fit in the body.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Boney Birds of Revelry story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black\/White Stripe","offer_id":40190403805318,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black\/White Stripe","offer_id":40190403838086,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black\/White Stripe","offer_id":40190403870854,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black\/White Stripe","offer_id":40190403903622,"sku":"","price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Striped-Boney-Bird-Monarch-Tee3.jpg?v=1687246887"},{"product_id":"the-birthday-monster-womens-stonewash-monarch-tee","title":"The Birthday Monster Women's Stonewash Monarch Tee","description":"\u003ch4\u003eThe Birthday Monster suffered from a great melancholy, for he constantly provided wondrous gifts for people of all ages around the world and never received any himself. He worked hard and diligently every single night with barely time to stop for a tea break. Nobody noticed him and they mistakenly thanked each other for the magnificent presents (how he envied Santa Claus, a celebrity amongst children). Did people even know what he looked like he wondered? Was there an image of him anywhere in the world?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (150 GSM) in stonewash, produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eModel is wearing a Small and is 158cm tall (sizing guide in images).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with \u003cspan\u003eThe Birthday Monster\u003c\/span\u003e story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40186485440646,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40186485506182,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40186485571718,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Stonewash Blue","offer_id":40186485637254,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Birthday-Monster-Monarch-Tee.jpg?v=1687594841"},{"product_id":"the-sky-gardeners-womens-monarch-tee-2","title":"The Sky Gardeners Women's Monarch Tee","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e100% soft combed cotton crew-neck tee (160 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and hand-printed in New Zealand. Sleeves can be sewn rolled or left longer (please check for both options if your size seems sold out).\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSizing guide in images. Model wears a Small, and is 158cm tall.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAvailable in Black and \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/products\/the-sky-gardeners-womens-monarch-tee\"\u003ePink\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Sky Gardeners story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eT\u003c\/span\u003ehe Sky Gardeners were named Fenella and Horace. Not all skies have a garden, just like not all houses have a garden, but the sky of Klah is so abundant that at certain times of the year the sunset was green, and the sun decorated her face with petals.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eIt hadn’t always been this way though. There was a time where everything was shrivelled and gasping, flowers lay right down on the earth to rest their feeble necks, and weeds like the claws of vultures choked everything, and sometimes grabbed hold of the clouds until they cried and cried and rained and rained in one place for so long that whole towns were washed away. Meetings were held and feet were stamped, and an ad was thus placed on the great canvas of the sky: SKY GARDENERS WANTED, APPLY WITHIN. Shortly afterwards Fenella and Horace moved in, or rather up, with one very large and very heavy battered suitcase between them.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eInside the suitcase was an assortment of books, but they were not books on gardening, because Fenella and Horace knew what they were doing - and besides, sky gardens are very different to earth gardens.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eThe plants of the sky do not need water, they thrive off diamonds, which may sound wildly expensive and impossible to keep up with, but luckily Fenella and Horace had discovered they had been born with a special ability to produce these.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eThe way they did it was this: Fenella would read to Horace from the suitcase library; romances with tragic endings, or excerpts from cooking shows where the dish completely failed, and Horace would cry tears of diamonds to feed the plants with. Sometimes she read him comic skits and he cried with laughter, or heart-warming tales about dogs on expeditions hoping to be reunited with their long-lost owners, and then he would well up with happiness, and cried a different shade of diamond.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eThe plants seemed to like that too; it seemed they needed all the colours and all the types to thrive and jive and live their most abundant lives, with many sides, just like a diamond.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003e*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eTo read about what would happen when Horace found a story particularly tearful and cried a little too much, until the plants were overwatered and spilled down to the earth, find your way to the story of \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/the-lantern-moths-commemoration\"\u003eThe Lantern Moths \u0026amp; The Radiant Ranges\u003c\/a\u003e...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40189960618118,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40189960650886,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40189960749190,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40189960781958,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40189960880262,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40189960913030,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black \/ Rolled","offer_id":40189961011334,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black \/ Unrolled","offer_id":40189961044102,"sku":null,"price":79.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Sky-Gardeners-Black-Monarch-Betty.jpg?v=1725060063"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.kingdomofklah.com\/collections\/womens-tops.oembed","provider":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","version":"1.0","type":"link"}