{"title":"Men's Sweatshirts","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #666666;\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e100% cotton hand-printed sweatshirts, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Accompanied by story and the Klah Seal of Authenticity. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\" data-mce-style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #666666;\"\u003eUse search filters below to navigate to in stock only while stock is extra limited!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"wolf-fox-unisex-sweatshirt","title":"Wolf-Fox Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eThe beast who was half wolf, half fox did not howl like a regular wolf, nor did he growl like a regular fox. Instead he sang the song of the future, only he sang it backwards, emitting a strange but beautiful noise, likened by some to the sound a flower makes in a sunshower, and others to the rhythm of waves against a great whale. We do not know how it is that he came to have such power, only that the moment he stops singing, it will be the future.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis garment has been decreed an official Klah habiliment by the Kingdom of Klah. The Kingdom wishes you to know that each and every one of these pieces has been individually printed by the Kingdom’s master artist and is therefore unique to its brothers and sisters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% cotton hand-printed sweatshirt (350 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Wolf-Fox story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black. The Duke is pictured in size Medium, and the Duchess in size Small. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003ci\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", an occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":35924311236,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":237501041,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":237501157,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":237501205,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":237501245,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":14346170826796,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Lookbook-black-wolf-sweater-tashi-web2.jpg?v=1554106299"},{"product_id":"snakebird-gold-pikeletcycle-gang-mens-sweatshirt","title":"Snakebird Gold Pikeletcycle Gang Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM cotton French Terry) with inset sleeves, 2x2 ribbing on neck, cuff and hem and cover stitched seams.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; hand screenprinted in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Snakebird  Gold story-card, Alphabet Translation and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in black with white and gold ink. Sizing guide in images. Eyes can be gold sequinned (second close up), please email directly after ordering to request. Sizing guide in images. This sweatshirt is a unisex cut.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eOnce upon a time the members of the Milk Thieves Motorcycle Gang struck fear into the hearts of citizens, churning up lawns, frightening cats into trees and of course, as all bad ass gang members do, stealing milk bottles. People cowered in the streets, anti-Milk Thieves charms and amulets flourished, and town meetings were called. The mayor tried to have them evicted but gave up when not only were all his milk bottles stolen, but his recycling bin too. All seemed lost.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eThen one evening, as the gang rode home from a productive day of neighbourhood terrorising, a vision suddenly appeared before them in the golden rays of the setting sun. A snakebird with blazing eyes rose up, and in his strange high-pitched voice he sang them one of their favourite death metal songs.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eInstantly he won their hearts and they listened respectfully to his wise leadership. They traded in their motorcycles for pikeletcycles, which are powered by pikelets and are much more eco-friendly, and became the Snakebird Gold Pikeletcycle Gang. They gave up their wicked milk thievery and started selling pikelets from their bikes, which was still a little bit bad ass as they didn’t have the required food certificates, but much more welcomed by the citizens. These days people hang golden snakes on their verandahs, a symbol of invitation to the pikelet vendors.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eTranslation of circular text from Klahtian: \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSNAKEBIRD GOLD \u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/snakebird-gold-pikeletcycle-gang-pikelet-recipe\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ePIKELET\u003c\/a\u003eCYCLE GANG\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRIDE FASTER THAN THE WIND\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e(For a pikelet recipe, click \u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/snakebird-gold-pikeletcycle-gang-pikelet-recipe\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/www.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Sign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", an occasional monthly e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Become a Citizen \u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":596574713,"sku":"","price":119.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":596574717,"sku":"","price":119.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":596574721,"sku":"","price":119.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":596574725,"sku":"","price":119.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Snakebird-Gold-Black-Men_s-Sweatshirt.jpg?v=1749365073"},{"product_id":"the-mask-unisex-sweater-1","title":"The Mask Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eLittle is known about the mask’s origins, about how it was created or why. Some say it first appeared when a strange red vine grew in a village in the north of Klah, a vine never before seen, nor after. Allegedly after seven days a large flower unfurled itself and inside lay the peculiar white mask waiting to be plucked. Others say it drifted ashore on a small canoe that smelt like the moon and felt like wet earth, and there are even a few who vehemently believe it was found under a privet hedge. Whatever its origins, it seems it was soon discovered that wearing the mask gave one the ability to understand and channel the thoughts of plants, and if one assumed the right position, and tossed their own thoughts in just the right way, the plants were able to understand in return. Throughout the centuries the mask has been passed down, sometimes lost and sometimes stolen, sometimes kept in glass cabinets and sometimes worn to bed, or fancy dress balls. Elaborate conversations have been held with the plant world, who tend to be interested in philosophy, poetry, and stories about the sun. The honoured one who owns the mask is called THE PLANT ORACLE.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed by us using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with The Mask story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":11822223982636,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":602000305,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":602000309,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":602000313,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":602000317,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/The-Mask-Sweater.jpg?v=1686886212"},{"product_id":"the-accordion-of-unexpected-fortunes-unisex-sweater-2","title":"The Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes Unisex Royal Sweater","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed by us using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSIzing guide in images. \u003cspan\u003eThis is a unisex sized garment.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cem\u003eEdgar came across the accordion in a park. The park was strange and mysterious; the trees did not move in time with the wind, nor the light with the sun. Certain leaves were seen to glint of their own accord, one after the other, and it was suspected they were sending coded messages - about what no one could ever quite be sure, other than that the whole business was strange and mysterious. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003eTherefore Edgar wasn’t particularly surprised when he tripped over the accordion, partly as his toes were very large and he tripped over a lot, and partly because the park was so peculiar. He was slightly more surprised to pick up the accordion, and, after only three dud notes, find himself playing wondrous songs he had never heard before - especially as he had been told (frequently) that he had the musical ability of a goat with no ears. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003eHe sang always the same words, but somehow different things began to happen to the people who listened. One woman grew a tremendously large nose, which Edgar felt terrible about until he discovered she then went off to make her fortune as a famous moustache model. An old man who stopped to listen suddenly developed superb hearing in his elbow and became a highly successful spy, casually leaning against walls and surreptitiously recording surreptitious conversations. A third listener, a young lady, grew a dense layer of fur over her body, which enabled her to continue living in a mountain cave whilst she finished her best-selling book, “\u003c\/em\u003eCulinary Skills and Table Manners of Yetis\u003cem\u003e.” \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe accordion became known as the Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes, and Edgar and his accordion, rather unexpectedly, and most fortuitously, quickly became sought after.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":34881244932,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":602087269,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":602087273,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":602087277,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":602087281,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":14617768558636,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/kingdom_accordion_sweatshirt_men.jpg?v=1686092261"},{"product_id":"mervyn-sagetusk-unisex-sweater","title":"Mervyn Sagetusk Unisex Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Mervyn Sagetusk story-card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Steel Blue. Sizing guide in images - this is a unisex sized garment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e---------------------------------------------\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e✦ In most countries an elite taxi service is one which offers polished gold handles, darkened, identity discreet windows and a special microphone to talk to the driver (who has tassels on his shoulders and a thin moustache). The elite taxi service of Klah, however, contains none of these things - in fact there are no handles, windows, microphones or tassels whatsoever, and any moustaches are normally thick and curly.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThe Klah taxi service is run by a highly professional outfit called Feathered Flights, who guarantee speed, comfort, great views, and the ability to fight off angry sparrows with a mere swipe of their powerful wings. Here, a Feathered Flights staff member transports one of the Kingdom’s most celebrated wisehog mentors to speak at a convention.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eAnyone who has ever had the pleasure of even a short conversation with a wisehog will know they are, as the name suggests, the epitome of wise. It is well known that the longer their tusks, the wiser they are, and Mervyn Sagetusk (pictured) is greatly respected for sporting some of the most magnificent and astute ivories Klah has ever seen - he once famously advised Lady Battibus that she was not actually a praying mantis, almost certainly saving her husband’s life. For information on Mr Sagetusk’s upcoming lectures, visit: \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/mervyn-sagetusk\" target=\"_blank\"\u003emervynsagetusk.kingdom-of-klah.com\u003c\/a\u003e ✦\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", an occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":11972023320620,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":602902597,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":602902601,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":602902605,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":602902609,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31546173522054,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Mervyn-Sagetusk-Steel-Blue-Sweater_61076558-0218-4a65-9a93-c0e5e841cccd.jpg?v=1587558016"},{"product_id":"i-heart-kittens-sweatshirt","title":"I Heart Kittens Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e♥ \u003ci\u003eRaymond had always been terrified of kittens. His elbows shook with fear when he heard the sound of meowing, his hands became clammy at the thought of their whiskers, and several times he jumped into the arms of unsuspecting strangers when he encountered cats in the street. He had nightmares about thousands of kittens holding paws and singing songs about rainbows. One day he met the girl of his dreams, Ramona R. Ramspittle. Ramona had magnificently silky eyebrows and an equal fondness for badminton. Raymond daydreamed about the two of them in matching badminton costumes, leaping around with tiny racquets and tremendous agility, sparks flying in the air and her eyebrows flowing in the wind. Unfortunately, Ramona also had an intense love of cats: her house was shaped like an enormous cats head and her mantlepiece adorned with miniature cat statues. Raymond wanted to impress her. He dismantled his cat alarms and adorned himself with happy cat paraphernalia. They went to the park and held hands. He disguised his terror with large volumes of catnip, but in the back of his mind he worried, “how long before she knows?” \u003c\/i\u003e♥\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the I Heart Kittens story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Steel Blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSizing guide in images- this garment is unisex sized.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e \u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003ci\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570505695366,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570505728134,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570505760902,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570505793670,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570505826438,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570505859206,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Kittens-Steel-Blue-Sweater.jpg?v=1587894340"},{"product_id":"the-balloonman-unisex-sweatshirt-2","title":"The Balloonman Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003e✦ There are many reasons why one might want to exchange one's head. You might have been cursed with a head that chatters about trivial things while you’re trying to nap, you may no longer wish to be mistaken for a famous pop-star - or, you may wish to be. You may be hoping to avoid your relatives, or trying to infiltrate the \u003ci\u003eBearded Men with Slender \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003eNoses Club.\u003c\/i\u003e For these reasons, and many more, the Floating Head Exchange exists, overseen by one known as the Balloonman. To show the Balloonman you would like to partake in a head exchange, simply touch the palms of your hands to the ground and he will take care of the rest. Over the years this has led to several unfortunate incidents where passersby have tripped over and unwillingly participated in the one-way exchange (and then been charged for it). Some have suggested that the Balloonman himself may have something to do with the mysteriously trippable objects that frequently seem to surround the exchange, asking him to explain the presence of cobblestone-coloured casserole dishes, mirrored disco balls and rakes made entirely of glass. The Balloonman responds to these accusations with a shake (and a wobble) of his rubbery head and says, his smiling expression unchanged, “\u003ci\u003eYou clearly have a suspicious mind. Perhaps you could do with a new one?\u003c\/i\u003e” ✦\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed by us using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Balloonman story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThese sweaters are unisex sizing. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eAvailable in Black \/ Metallic Blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small monthly e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":11972243193900,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":963712160,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":963712164,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":963712168,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":963712172,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":14641190633516,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/balloon-mens-sweater_58224a0b-cb97-448e-8749-cf5958314c32.jpg?v=1530677084"},{"product_id":"the-lantern-moths-commemoration-unisex-sweatshirt","title":"The Lantern Moths' Commemoration Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Radiant Ranges are not glorious and light as one would imagine, but dark and ominous, and strange things happen there – perhaps the strangest of all being the diamonds that sometimes rain from the sky, like the most radiantly dangerous hail you have ever seen, or been smacked in the face with. To avoid injuries, a magnificent group of lantern moths provide a warning system before each diamond fall, flying over the valleys and signaling to the citizens to helmet up the cows and hurry inside. Due to the abundance of diamonds in the area, anything that can be made from diamond is, from houses to harpsichords, tables to toothbrushes, and sometimes the teeth themselves. On the unusual occasion that it is sunny, the citizens are forced to wear special diamond-blocking glasses to protect their eyes from the glare, and stop them developing what is commonly known as “sparkle-eye”. The lantern moths have performed this honorable warning duty for as long as anyone can remember. When they are not signaling, they are forecasting the next fall. They do this in a number of ways: as well as having a weather station with the usual gadgets and gizmos, they watch the skies, they feel the vibrations of the weather on their wings, and they listen to the whispers of the diamonds. The Kingdom of Klah has created this garment to commemorate the fine and important job the lantern moths do.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Lantern Moths story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eAvailable in Black and Steel Blue. This garment is unisex sized (sizing guide in images).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/mens-sweatshirts\/products\/the-lantern-moths-commemoration-winter-fleece-sweatshirt\"\u003eWinter fleece version here\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/womens-sweatshirts\/products\/the-lantern-moths-commemoration-womens-winter-fleece-sweatshirt-plum\"\u003eWomen's version here\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":1332868936,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XS \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816167555206,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":1332868092,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816167587974,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":1332868096,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816167620742,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":1332868100,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816167653510,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":1332868104,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816167686278,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":39816167260294,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816167719046,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":39816169193606,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3XL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816764293254,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Lantern_Moths_Sweatshirt_Female.jpg?v=1687689022"},{"product_id":"snakebird-gold-pikeletcycle-gang-zip-hoody","title":"Snakebird Gold Pikeletcycle Gang Zip Up Men's Hoody","description":"\u003cp\u003eZip Up Hoody (320gsm cotton) with CVC fleece lining, \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003ekangaroo pockets, lined hood and YKK metal zip. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eBlack with \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eWhite \u0026amp; Metallic Gold print screenprinted on the back, embroidered Klahtian language on the front.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eProduced under ethical working conditions\u003c\/span\u003e and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAccompanied by the Snakebird Gold story-card, Alphabet Translation (for the code in the print) and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis garment has a relaxed fit and is preshrunk to minimise shrinkage - if in between sizes you may want to size down. Sizing guide in images. \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/products\/snakebird-gold-pikeletcycle-gang-zip-up-womens-hoody\"\u003eWomen's \/ shorter version here.\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.............................................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cem\u003eTHE SNAKEBIRD GOLD PIKELETCYCLE GANG\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eOnce upon a time the members of the Milk Thieves Motorcycle Gang struck fear into the hearts of citizens, churning up lawns, frightening cats into trees and of course, as all bad ass gang members do, stealing milk bottles. People cowered in the streets, anti-Milk Thieves charms and amulets flourished, and town meetings were called. The mayor tried to have them evicted but gave up when not only were all his milk bottles stolen, but his recycling bin too. All seemed lost. Then one evening, as the gang rode home from a productive day of neighbourhood terrorising, a vision suddenly appeared before them in the golden rays of the setting sun. A snakebird with blazing eyes rose up, and in his strange high-pitched voice he sang them one of their favourite death metal songs. Instantly he won their hearts and they listened respectfully to his wise leadership. They traded in their motorcycles for pikeletcycles, which are powered by pikelets and are much more eco-friendly, and became the Snakebird Gold Pikeletcycle Gang. They gave up their wicked milk thievery and started selling pikelets from their bikes, which was still a little bit bad ass as they didn’t have the required food certificates, but much more welcomed by the citizens. These days people hang golden snakes on their verandahs, a symbol of invitation to the pikelet vendors.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e(For a pikelet recipe, click\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/snakebird-gold-pikeletcycle-gang-pikelet-recipe\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e)\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":9557702803500,"sku":"","price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":9557702869036,"sku":"","price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":9557702934572,"sku":"","price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":42135662755974,"sku":null,"price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Snakebird-Men_s-Zip-Hoody.jpg?v=1750364010"},{"product_id":"the-galaxy-creation-club-royal-sweatshirt","title":"The Galaxy Creation Club Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAs far back as their memories stretched they had met on Wednesdays to create galaxies. Pauline sometimes thought she remembered a Wednesday cave painting class several thousand years ago, but the other spirits said she was just being fanciful, and anyway Wednesdays didn't exist back then. It was also a mystery to them why it was so important to keep creating galaxies, although Francine suspected the answer to the mystery was MYSTERY, because when they went through a brief phase of not meeting and got regular jobs moving bits of paper around and stapling things to other things as people had always advised them to, the world suddenly became smaller, and some stars fizzled out before their time and fell into the sea. Once the ocean had stopped shining and sizzling, those same people complained that things had become less sparkly and too known - not to mention all the magpies in the world, who love a bit of mystery and sparkle, took to a horrible wailing \u0026amp; flailing, and the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eGalaxy Creation Club\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e was hurriedly reformed. The night before Wednesday (often, but not always a Tuesday), a shooting star would be sent by one of the spirits revealing the meeting place. This moved around so as not to annoy the neighbours, for sometimes the creations were loud and involved chanting and the banging of saucepan lids, and other times they were utterly silent but required bursts of bright light followed by bursts of dark light, and dark light can be very disconcerting if you aren't accustomed to it. The locations were chosen in turn, because if Pauline had her way they would always be meeting in difficult to reach treehouses, or moonlit swamps which sound romantic but are also prone to vampirish insects, and Gregor found this very distracting while he was in the zone. In the zone they always muttered or sang or yelled or silently thought the ultimate words of creation, the words of their belonging and the binding of all things: KINGDOM OF KLAH ❇︎✺✬\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed by us using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by The Galaxy Creation Club story-card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black with white and green\/blue print. This is a unisex sized garment - sizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":29228876988460,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":29228877021228,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":29228877053996,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":29228877086764,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":29228877119532,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":29228877152300,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Galaxy-Ch_lita-Black-Sweatshirt.jpg?v=1561422582"},{"product_id":"brian-bird-lion-royal-sweatshirt","title":"Brian Bird-Lion Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Brian Bird-Lion story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003eBrian had always felt an affinity with birds. This was probably because Brian, although obviously part-lion, had himself hatched from an egg. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe egg had been resting all alone in a nest - not of twigs and moss and sticks, but of matted golden fur much like his own mane. After he had emerged from the egg, quite quickly, thanks to his lion claws, he looked around but could not find any sign of a jubilant parent, or even a note welcoming him to the world, so he climbed awkwardly down the tree and set out for life, which was fortunately signposted. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eHe soon discovered that when he encountered birds, a curious energy was created between them, and sometimes nearby objects would begin to fly, or sing sweet songs, or start to forage for crumbs. One time a letterbox burst into song and became a local attraction, and a whole town sprung up around it with lodgings with great names like \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Sing Inn\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, although of course it never happened again. In the meantime Brian realized he had never met a lion, and wondered \u003cem\u003ewhat would happen if he did?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":31550800560262,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":31550800593030,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":31550800625798,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":31550800658566,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":31550800691334,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Brian-Bird-Lion-sweater-black.jpg?v=1587620767"},{"product_id":"les-moon-poet-royal-sweatshirt","title":"Les Moon, (Poet) Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Les Moon, (Poet) story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSizing guide in images. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #444444;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #444444;\"\u003eThese sweaters are unisex sizing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black with Metallic Silver print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.........................................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eLes Moon, Poet (Prolific)\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003eThe Second Moon of Klah had rather a lot of time on his hands. Occasionally he was required to perform some kind of exotic eclipse, or paint his face blue, or red, or turn this way or that way, but mostly he was left to his own devices, particularly as the First Moon of Klah was rather bossy and tended to hog most of the moon duties herself. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003eLesley (as he was commonly known) thus learnt to amuse himself by dedicating himself to many different hobbies, none of which it could be said he was particularly skilled at. He had attempted at one time or another to become a master finger puppeteer, a pastry chef, a baton twirler, a patchwork quilter and an avant garde keyboardist, but when these did not work out (for obvious, fingerless reasons) he eventually settled on the idea of becoming the world’s most prolific poet, even ordering a shiny name-badge that said LES MOON, POET (PROLIFIC). \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003eUnfortunately he had no interest in writing about things he knew – instead he wrote poems about walking on the beach: \u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003e“\u003ci\u003ethe water felt thick under my feet and the sand silky \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003ebehind my ears\u003c\/i\u003e”. \u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003eHe wrote about hang-gliding, which he thought was called ‘ham-gliding’: \u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003e“\u003ci\u003eI became one with the ham and together \/ \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003e\u003ci\u003ewe went gliding\u003c\/i\u003e”. \u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan style=\"color: #073763;\"\u003eHe recited his poetry in a loud, booming moon-voice to everyone within hearing, polished his name-badge, and waited patiently to be discovered.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small monthly e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":31551808077958,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":31551808110726,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":31551808143494,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":31551808176262,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":31551808209030,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":31551808241798,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Les-Moon-Sweater.jpg?v=1686885389"},{"product_id":"the-birthday-monster-royal-sweatshirt","title":"The Birthday Monster Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Steel Blue. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAccompanied by the Birthday Monster story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eThe Birthday Monster suffered from a great melancholy, for he constantly provided wondrous gifts for people of all ages around the world and never received any himself. He worked hard and diligently every single night with barely time to stop for a tea break. Nobody noticed him and they mistakenly thanked each other for the magnificent presents (how he envied Santa Claus, a celebrity amongst children). Did people even know what he looked like he wondered? Was there an image of him anywhere in the world?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a very occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570415124614,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570415157382,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570415190150,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570415222918,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":31570415255686,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":42080232276102,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Birthday-Monster-Steel-Blue-Sweater2.jpg?v=1588833996"},{"product_id":"the-man-who-loved-trees-royal-sweatshirt","title":"The Man Who Loved Trees Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eT\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ehe man loved trees. He thought about them constantly, and one day he discovered two of them growing out of his head. Soon after, a family of birds arrived with their interpreter, Mr \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eMaximillan P.\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eSymonds\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e. Mr Maximillan P.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSymonds’ grandmother had been a crow. He asked the man if they might set up residence. The man was lonely and felt an affinity with Mr Symonds, and so he agreed.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Man Who Loved Trees story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizing guide in images.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":34688047808646,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":34688047841414,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":34688047874182,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":34688047906950,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":34688047939718,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":34688047972486,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Treehead-man-sweatshirt.jpg?v=1595033067"},{"product_id":"mervyn-sagetusk-esteemed-wisehog-mens-hoody","title":"Mervyn Sagetusk, Esteemed Wisehog Men's Fleece Hoody","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e✦ In most countries an elite taxi service is one which offers polished gold handles, darkened, identity discreet windows and a special microphone to talk to the driver (who has tassels on his shoulders and a thin moustache). The elite taxi service of Klah, however, contains none of these things - in fact there are no handles, windows, microphones or tassels whatsoever, and any moustaches are normally thick and curly. The Klah taxi service is run by a highly professional outfit called Feathered Flights, who guarantee speed, comfort, great views, and the ability to fight off angry sparrows with a mere swipe of their powerful wings. Here, a Feathered Flights staff member transports one of the Kingdom’s most celebrated wisehog mentors to speak at a convention. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of even a short conversation with a wisehog will know they are, as the name suggests, the epitome of wise. It is well known that the longer their tusks, the wiser they are, and Mervyn Sagetusk (pictured) is greatly respected for sporting some of the most magnificent and astute ivories Klah has ever seen - he once famously advised Lady Battibus that she was not actually a praying mantis, almost certainly saving her husband’s life. For information on Mr Sagetusk’s upcoming lectures, visit: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/mervyn-sagetusk\" target=\"_blank\"\u003emervynsagetusk.kingdom-of-klah.com\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cspan\u003e ✦\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e350 GSM Cotton Hoody lined with anti-pill fleece, handprinted with the Mervyn Sagetusk print. This garment has a lined hood, kangaroo pocket, raglan sleeves, tonal drawcord, hem and sleeve cuff ribbing, and is preshrunk to minimise shrinkage. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eComes with the Mervyn Sagetusk story card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Cobalt","offer_id":39346819629190,"sku":null,"price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Cobalt","offer_id":39346819661958,"sku":null,"price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Cobalt","offer_id":39346819694726,"sku":null,"price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Cobalt","offer_id":39346819727494,"sku":null,"price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Cobalt","offer_id":39346819760262,"sku":null,"price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3XL \/ Cobalt","offer_id":39347541475462,"sku":"","price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Mervyn-Sagetusk-Mens-Hoody-blue.jpg?v=1622194417"},{"product_id":"horatio-guardian-of-the-limes-unisex-royal-sweater","title":"Horatio, Guardian of the Limes Unisex Royal Sweater","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4 style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eHoratio had been Guardian of the Limes for a long time now, and he was very proud. It is not easy to become a Guardian for the tests are rigorous: you have to fight large insects with your bare hands and be able to identify the limes from the tangerines pretending to be limes, and the tangerines from limes pretending to be tangerines, and as the fruits in Klah can change their colour, this is not as easy as it sounds. Horatio had succeeded though, and he felt this made him the second most successful member of his family, after his grandmother who had invented a telephone that could whisper jokes to you when the person you were talking to was incredibly dull. The telephone of course never got used on Horatio, as his life was anything but dull, he always had thrilling work stories about battling flocks of crows that tried to peck at the limes or having to use his own body as a shield when it hailed. Horatio felt a bit like a superhero protecting the world, for it was said that one day the limes themselves would save Klah, though no one had any idea how.\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed by us using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Horatio, Guardian of the Limes story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Sage Green.\u003cspan\u003e This is a unisex sized garment.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchange\u003c\/a\u003es\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Sage Green","offer_id":39347610484870,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Sage Green","offer_id":39347610583174,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Sage Green","offer_id":39347610681478,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Sage Green","offer_id":39347610779782,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Sage Green","offer_id":39347610878086,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Sage Green","offer_id":39347610976390,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Horatio-Sage-Green-Sweater-Handprinted-NZ.jpg?v=1624516500"},{"product_id":"the-pancake-seas-the-wizard-hatted-fish-unisex-royal-sweatshirt","title":"The Pancake Seas \u0026 The Wizard Hatted Fish Unisex Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions\u003c\/span\u003e and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Steel Blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Wizard Hatted-Fish story-card (story below) and the Klah certified seal of authenticity. Sizing guide in images.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIn the North of Klah you can find many things; six legged horses, trees shaped like birds, and birds shaped like trees - and a clan of fish in wizard hats, gifted to them by a travelling wizard. The fish had done him a good deed after they retrieved his favourite pair of salad servers, which he had accidentally dropped off the side of his boat while enthusiastically making his lunch. “These hats will change the world” he said, then vigorously tucked into his salad with no further explanation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe fish felt very important. “These hats must contain an immense power” they said, and had to steady themselves on the flank of a passing kraken at the thought. “We must be very careful”.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSomewhere along the way, one of the fish had heard, or possibly misheard, or potentially dreamt, that magic hats are related to icecream cones, and do not work when they are soggy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“But the hats must also be worn!” they said. “Important things should not be hidden away!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“If we leap out of the water enough they will not get wet”, a bright young fish named Walter said with conviction, and conviction is catching. And so they constantly leapt from the ocean in a rather beautiful and hypnotic formation – I cannot say for sure whether the hats did or did not get wet as there was never time to stop and check.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAlthough this may seem of no great importance, there are many theories on the effects. Some say the constant flurry of motion helps the sun rise, others that it makes the world turn. Perhaps, perhaps. What it most certainly does, is create a churning that feeds and plumps the normally meagre waves into great thrashing beasts of salt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eThis part of the ocean used to be very calm, and was known as the Pancake Seas. Among the Pancake Seas stood the sharp and deadly Rocks of Cacti, famous for destroying ships and popping children’s balloons.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor years they had remained there, their spiked columns rising out of the flat sea, untouched by the waves, but now the waters churned by the fishes constant leaping crashed and dashed all about them, and very soon they became as smooth as the underside of a whale – in fact lonely and slightly confused whales started arriving and rubbing up against them.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMore flurry was created, and now when people need a bit of glass worn down to make a good cheese knife handle, they take them to the Pancake Seas and the Hatted Fish. The Hatted Fish believe the people have come to have their treasures blessed by the magic* of their legendarily dry hats and vow even more vehemently to keep them so.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003e*No one has ever verified if the hats are actually magic. They have certainly changed the world though – Klah now has an abundance of glass handled cheese knives.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39356662972550,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39356663005318,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39356663038086,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39356663070854,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39356663103622,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Wizard-Fish-Steel-Blue-Sweater.jpg?v=1621383259"},{"product_id":"horatio-guardian-of-the-limes-fleece-hoody","title":"Horatio, Guardian of the Limes Fleece Hoody, Dark Green","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4 style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eHoratio had been Guardian of the Limes for a long time now, and he was very proud. It is not easy to become a Guardian for the tests are rigorous: you have to fight large insects with your bare hands and be able to identify the limes from the tangerines pretending to be limes, and the tangerines from limes pretending to be tangerines, and as the fruits in Klah can change their colour, this is not as easy as it sounds. Horatio had succeeded though, and he felt this made him the second most successful member of his family, after his grandmother who had invented a telephone that could whisper jokes to you when the person you were talking to was incredibly dull. The telephone of course never got used on Horatio, as his life was anything but dull, he always had thrilling work stories about battling flocks of crows that tried to peck at the limes or having to use his own body as a shield when it hailed. Horatio felt a bit like a superhero protecting the world, for it was said that one day the limes themselves would save Klah, though no one had any idea how.\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e350 GSM Cotton Hoody lined with anti-pill fleece, handprinted with the Horatio, Guardian of the Limes print. This garment has a lined hood, kangaroo pocket, raglan sleeves, tonal drawcord, hem and sleeve cuff ribbing, and is preshrunk to minimise shrinkage. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Horatio, Guardian of the Limes story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchange\u003c\/a\u003es\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Dark Green","offer_id":39369393799302,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Dark Green","offer_id":39369393832070,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Dark Green","offer_id":39369393864838,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Green","offer_id":39369393897606,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Dark Green","offer_id":39369393930374,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3XL \/ Dark Green","offer_id":39369410969734,"sku":"","price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Horatio-Mens-Hoody.jpg?v=1622193981"},{"product_id":"the-yetis-dilemma-sweatshirt","title":"The Yeti's Dilemma Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAvailable in Mauve and Black. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Yeti's Dilemma story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e♬ Paul had been playing the piano for quite some time now, but he had no idea if he was any good. He knew that sometimes people could be deluded about their talents, but how did one know if that were so - for he had also heard of the dreaded Low Self Esteem that could plague creative geniuses. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHe tried to look for signs and noticed that birds always flew away when he started playing, but then again they could just be jealous of his perfect rhythm and spectacular melodies, or perhaps the tune of his music tended to remind them of appointments they were late for. He wheeled his piano to the beach and put on a concert for a colony of seals and they clapped, but then they clapped at drifting seaweed and bucket sandcastles, neither of which in Paul’s opinion had any artistic merit. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePaul suffered many sleepless nights and frittered away many gloriously sunny days tossing and turning in his lair before he realized there was only one thing he was sure of, and that was that when he played, his heart and fur and soul and toe-claws all sang along too, and he may as well continue his public performances until either someone invited him onto \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eKlah Idol\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or threw a fish pie in his face. ♬\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":39385523814534,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":39385523847302,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":39385523880070,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":39385523912838,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":39385523945606,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":39385523978374,"sku":"","price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Yeti_s-Dilemma-Black-Sweater.jpg?v=1624518691"},{"product_id":"the-pancake-seas-the-wizard-hatted-fish-fleece-sweatshirt","title":"The Pancake Seas \u0026 The Wizard Hatted Fish Fleece Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003eIn the North of Klah you can find many things; six legged horses, trees shaped like birds, and birds shaped like trees - and a clan of fish in wizard hats, gifted to them by a travelling wizard. The fish had done him a good deed after they retrieved his favourite pair of salad servers, which he had accidentally dropped off the side of his boat while enthusiastically making his lunch. “These hats will change the world” he said, then vigorously tucked into his salad with no further explanation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003eThe fish felt very important. “These hats must contain an immense power” they said, and had to steady themselves on the flank of a passing kraken at the thought. “We must be very careful”.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003eSomewhere along the way, one of the fish had heard, or possibly misheard, or potentially dreamt, that magic hats are related to icecream cones, and do not work when they are soggy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003e“But the hats must also be worn!” they said. “Important things should not be hidden away!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003e“If we leap out of the water enough they will not get wet”, a bright young fish named Walter said with conviction, and conviction is catching. And so they constantly leapt from the ocean in a rather beautiful and hypnotic formation – I cannot say for sure whether the hats did or did not get wet as there was never time to stop and check.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003eAlthough this may seem of no great importance, there are many theories on the effects. Some say the constant flurry of motion helps the sun rise, others that it makes the world turn. Perhaps, perhaps. What it most certainly does, is create a churning that feeds and plumps the normally meagre waves into great thrashing beasts of salt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003eThis part of the ocean used to be very calm, and was known as the Pancake Seas. Among the Pancake Seas stood the sharp and deadly Rocks of Cacti, famous for destroying ships and popping children’s balloons.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003eFor years they had remained there, their spiked columns rising out of the flat sea, untouched by the waves, but now the waters churned by the fishes constant leaping crashed and dashed all about them, and very soon they became as smooth as the underside of a whale – in fact lonely and slightly confused whales started arriving and rubbing up against them.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003eMore flurry was created, and now when people need a bit of glass worn down to make a good cheese knife handle, they take them to the Pancake Seas and the Hatted Fish. The Hatted Fish believe the people have come to have their treasures blessed by the magic* of their legendarily dry hats and vow even more vehemently to keep them so.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e*No one has ever verified if the hats are actually magic. They have certainly changed the world though – Klah now has an abundance of glass handled cheese knives.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (290 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, anti pill fleece produced under ethical working conditions\u003c\/span\u003e and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Forest Green.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Wizard Hatted-Fish story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity. Sizing guide in images. Preshrunk to minimise shrinkage.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Forest Green","offer_id":39388647063686,"sku":"","price":119.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Forest Green","offer_id":39388647096454,"sku":"","price":119.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Forest Green","offer_id":39388647129222,"sku":"","price":119.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Forest Green","offer_id":39388647161990,"sku":"","price":119.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Forest Green","offer_id":39388647194758,"sku":"","price":119.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3XL \/ Forest Green","offer_id":39388700409990,"sku":"","price":119.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Wizard-Fish-Green-Fleece-sweater.jpg?v=1623743556"},{"product_id":"the-sky-gardeners-royal-sweatshirt","title":"The Sky Gardeners Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with Sky Gardeners story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity. Sizing guide in images. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThis is a unisex garment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Steel Blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e---------------------------------------------- \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eT\u003c\/span\u003ehe Sky Gardeners were named Fenella and Horace. Not all skies have a garden, just like not all houses have a garden, but the sky of Klah is so abundant that at certain times of the year the sunset was green, and the sun decorated her face with petals.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003eIt hadn’t always been this way though. There was a time where everything was shrivelled and gasping, flowers lay right down on the earth to rest their feeble necks, and weeds like the claws of vultures choked everything, and sometimes grabbed hold of the clouds until they cried and cried and rained and rained in one place for so long that whole towns were washed away. Meetings were held and feet were stamped, and an ad was thus placed on the great canvas of the sky: SKY GARDENERS WANTED, APPLY WITHIN. Shortly afterwards Fenella and Horace moved in, or rather up, with one very large and very heavy battered suitcase between them.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003eInside the suitcase was an assortment of books, but they were not books on gardening, because Fenella and Horace knew what they were doing - and besides, sky gardens are very different to earth gardens.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003eThe plants of the sky do not need water, they thrive off diamonds, which may sound wildly expensive and impossible to keep up with, but luckily Fenella and Horace had discovered they had been born with a special ability to produce these.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003eThe way they did it was this: Fenella would read to Horace from the suitcase library; romances with tragic endings, or excerpts from cooking shows where the dish completely failed, and Horace would cry tears of diamonds to feed the plants with. Sometimes she read him comic skits and he cried with laughter, or heart-warming tales about dogs on expeditions hoping to be reunited with their long-lost owners, and then he would well up with happiness, and cried a different shade of diamond.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003eThe plants seemed to like that too; it seemed they needed all the colours and all the types to thrive and jive and live their most abundant lives, with many sides, just like a diamond.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4 class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #404040;\"\u003e*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eTo read about what would happen when Horace found a story particularly tearful and cried a little too much, until the plants were overwatered and spilled down to the earth, find your way to the story of \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/the-lantern-moths-commemoration\"\u003eThe Lantern Moths \u0026amp; The Radiant Ranges\u003c\/a\u003e...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816174141574,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816174207110,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816174272646,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816174338182,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816174403718,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3XL \/ Steel Blue","offer_id":39816174469254,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Sky-Gardeners-Steel-Blue-Sweatshirt-Klah.jpg?v=1657787837"},{"product_id":"the-pancake-seas-the-wizard-hatted-fish-fleece-hoody","title":"The Pancake Seas \u0026 The Wizard Hatted Fish Fleece Hoody","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e350 GSM Cotton Hoody lined with anti-pill fleece, handprinted with the \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eWizard Hatted-Fish print. This garment has a lined hood, kangaroo pocket, raglan sleeves, tonal drawcord, hem and sleeve cuff ribbing, and is preshrunk to minimise shrinkage. Sizing guide in images. Model wears a size Large and is 187cm tall.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWizard Hatted-Fish\u003c\/span\u003e story (below) and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Dark Green.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIn the North of Klah you can find many things; six legged horses, trees shaped like birds, and birds shaped like trees - and a clan of fish in wizard hats, gifted to them by a travelling wizard. The fish had done him a good deed after they retrieved his favourite pair of salad servers, which he had accidentally dropped off the side of his boat while enthusiastically making his lunch. “These hats will change the world” he said, then vigorously tucked into his salad with no further explanation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe fish felt very important. “These hats must contain an immense power” they said, and had to steady themselves on the flank of a passing kraken at the thought. “We must be very careful”.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSomewhere along the way, one of the fish had heard, or possibly misheard, or potentially dreamt, that magic hats are related to icecream cones, and do not work when they are soggy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“But the hats must also be worn!” they said. “Important things should not be hidden away!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“If we leap out of the water enough they will not get wet”, a bright young fish named Walter said with conviction, and conviction is catching. And so they constantly leapt from the ocean in a rather beautiful and hypnotic formation – I cannot say for sure whether the hats did or did not get wet as there was never time to stop and check.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAlthough this may seem of no great importance, there are many theories on the effects. Some say the constant flurry of motion helps the sun rise, others that it makes the world turn. Perhaps, perhaps. What it most certainly does, is create a churning that feeds and plumps the normally meagre waves into great thrashing beasts of salt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eThis part of the ocean used to be very calm, and was known as the Pancake Seas. Among the Pancake Seas stood the sharp and deadly Rocks of Cacti, famous for destroying ships and popping children’s balloons.\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan\u003eFor years they had remained there, their spiked columns rising out of the flat sea, untouched by the waves, but now the waters churned by the fishes constant leaping crashed and dashed all about them, and very soon they became as smooth as the underside of a whale – in fact lonely and slightly confused whales started arriving and rubbing up against them.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMore flurry was created, and now when people need a bit of glass worn down to make a good cheese knife handle, they take them to the Pancake Seas and the Hatted Fish. The Hatted Fish believe the people have come to have their treasures blessed by the magic* of their legendarily dry hats and vow even more vehemently to keep them so.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003e*No one has ever verified if the hats are actually magic. They have certainly changed the world though – Klah now has an abundance of glass handled cheese knives.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Medium \/ Dark Green","offer_id":40192322568326,"sku":null,"price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Dark Green","offer_id":40192322601094,"sku":null,"price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Green","offer_id":40192322633862,"sku":null,"price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Dark Green","offer_id":40192322666630,"sku":null,"price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3XL \/ Dark Green","offer_id":40192322699398,"sku":null,"price":125.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Wizard-Fish-Mens-Hoody-Milan.jpg?v=1726731330"},{"product_id":"the-infinity-snakes-of-time-unisex-royal-sweatshirt","title":"The Infinity Snakes of Time Unisex Royal Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions\u003c\/span\u003e and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Infinity Snakes of Time Storycard. Fluro ink glows under UV light!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis print is limited edition and numbered, and won't be restocked once sold out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e...................................................................\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Infinity Snakes of Time\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople will tell you nothing lasts forever, and these people are wrong. It is true that many things do not last forever, for example yoghurt, or a steep hill you might be climbing whilst carrying a large statue of a horse on your back, and in these situations, it is useful to know that such things will not last forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe people who tell you nothing lasts forever, whilst well meaning, have clearly never heard of the Infinity Snakes, who \u003cem\u003ehad \u003c\/em\u003elasted forever, and \u003cem\u003ewould\u003c\/em\u003e last forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis was their job, simply to exist and keep the time spectrum in balance. There was a little bit of paperwork (“Memo - July 12 - Yes we are still here”), and on Saturdays they would carve ♾️ JERRY + SIMON 4EVA ♾️ into public tables and pieces of setting concrete.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes of course they did their own thing; Jerry quite liked a good slither through the forest on her own, and Simon liked listening to his records of the Native Singing Cats Choir, loudly and immersively, and without Jerry turning the volume down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd sometimes of course they quarrelled, tongues forked and fizzing - and every few decades Jerry would stamp her tail - but mostly they cackled, and danced, and fought Time Crime, shooting lasers from their powerful snake eyes at villains who tried to upset the balance by Greed or Theft (including the stealing of their paperwork) or by creeping up on the Infinity Snakes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThose shot with the lasers would suddenly find strange time related occurrences slithering into their lives – yoghurt would sour before their eyes and those steep, statue laden hills would drag on impossibly long. One villain complained of washing that would never dry (and ended up having to live in an underwater cave where wet clothes were not a problem); yet another had all their clothes crumble into an ancient dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor, always the time lasers balanced out; if time was taken from one, it was given to another. And therefore, if any of you are considering becoming a Time Villain take note – you are wasting your time trying to battle the Infinity Snakes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey \u003cem\u003ealways\u003c\/em\u003e have each other’s backs.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":40904776450182,"sku":null,"price":139.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Infinity-Snakes-Black-Men_s-Sweatshirt.jpg?v=1713909221"},{"product_id":"the-infinity-snakes-of-time-mens-zip-hoody","title":"The Infinity Snakes of Time Men's Zip Hoody (Back Print)","description":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cspan\u003e100% cotton handprinted zip hoody (320 GSM) with CVC fleece \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e(recycled polyester) lining, self fabric lined hood, YKK zip and sleeve cuff ribbing. This garment has a relaxed fit - if in between or unsure of size you may want to size down. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eProduced under ethical working conditions\u003c\/span\u003e and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Infinity Snakes of Time Storycard. Fluro ink glows under UV light!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis print is limited edition and numbered and will not be restocked once sold out.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e...................................................................\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Infinity Snakes of Time\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003ePeople will tell you nothing lasts forever, and these people are wrong. It is true that many things do not last forever, for example yoghurt, or a steep hill you might be climbing whilst carrying a large statue of a horse on your back, and in these situations, it is useful to know that such things will not last forever.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThe people who tell you nothing lasts forever, whilst well meaning, have clearly never heard of the Infinity Snakes, who \u003cem\u003ehad \u003c\/em\u003elasted forever, and \u003cem\u003ewould\u003c\/em\u003e last forever.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThis was their job, simply to exist and keep the time spectrum in balance. There was a little bit of paperwork (“Memo - July 12 - Yes we are still here”), and on Saturdays they would carve ♾️ JERRY + SIMON 4EVA ♾️ into public tables and pieces of setting concrete.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSometimes of course they did their own thing; Jerry quite liked a good slither through the forest on her own, and Simon liked listening to his records of the Native Singing Cats Choir, loudly and immersively, and without Jerry turning the volume down.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eAnd sometimes of course they quarrelled, tongues forked and fizzing - and every few decades Jerry would stamp her tail - but mostly they cackled, and danced, and fought Time Crime, shooting lasers from their powerful snake eyes at villains who tried to upset the balance by Greed or Theft (including the stealing of their paperwork) or by creeping up on the Infinity Snakes.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThose shot with the lasers would suddenly find strange time related occurrences slithering into their lives – yoghurt would sour before their eyes and those steep, statue laden hills would drag on impossibly long. One villain complained of washing that would never dry (and ended up having to live in an underwater cave where wet clothes were not a problem); yet another had all their clothes crumble into an ancient dust.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eFor, always the time lasers balanced out; if time was taken from one, it was given to another. And therefore, if any of you are considering becoming a Time Villain take note – you are wasting your time trying to battle the Infinity Snakes.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eThey \u003cem\u003ealways\u003c\/em\u003e have each other’s backs.\u003c\/h4\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":41209867600006,"sku":null,"price":155.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":41209867632774,"sku":null,"price":155.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":41209867665542,"sku":null,"price":155.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":41209867698310,"sku":null,"price":155.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":41209867567238,"sku":null,"price":155.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Snake-hoody-back-Milan_26317bcc-4b65-4dd2-ac85-0e2c5ca1129e.jpg?v=1724980752"},{"product_id":"the-time-travelling-dog-royal-sweatshirt","title":"The Time Travelling Dog Royal Sweatshirt, Metallic Gold \u0026 Silver","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e100% combed cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions\u003c\/span\u003e and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on Black with Metallic Gold \u0026amp; Silver ink.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by The Time Travelling Dog story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eB\u003c\/span\u003eernard had always been easily distracted. He could be trotting down the road to get the newspaper and on the way, he’d see a crow with a bit of ham heading down a side street. He’d quickly veer off after it - but then there’d be an intriguing hedge with an enticing scent and he’d feel the need to squeeze himself through that - when suddenly a procession of white rats playing gold tubas would go past, and before he knew it, he’d be dancing the highland fling up a distant mountain.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eWhen he eventually got to the paper it would often be a whole different day’s edition.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003ePossibly it wasn’t just distraction, perhaps some minor time travel was involved as many people are able to do without even realising. You probably know some of them.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eThey’ll be “just grabbing a coat” and an hour later they emerge like nothing just happened – which it didn’t, for them. They show up on the wrong day to appointments, or they seem to have devoured their meal while you briefly glanced away, and some other reason gets blamed instead of the real one: that they accidentally drifted through a small Time Tunnel which sent them very slightly forwards or backwards in time.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eAside from a couple of wild expeditions that had led him inadvertently through some minor tunnels, an hour or a day here and there, Bernard had lived a pretty ordinary life going steadily forwards in time. That is, until a certain day in early summer when he found a particularly good dumpster to rummage in.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eIt could have been the magical looking clock he consumed, or the week old tacos he gobbled, who could say – but from that day forward, or rather backwards, or sideways – life was never the same again for Bernard. Suddenly he could see the Time Tunnels, and even read their signs, should he be inclined. He was thus able to intentionally amble through time, and I say amble, because although he had a newfound power of time travel, his character of roving leisurely and getting side-tracked by exciting things along the way did not change. In fact, he moved so slowly and distractedly that he was often still bringing his back legs out of one tunnel when the front legs had gone through the next one. Because of this, you can find him – or parts of his great furry body – spread throughout most times in\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003ehistory (and the future). Have you ever thought you glimpsed something out of the corner of your eye and then there was nothing there?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p2\"\u003eBernard.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eOr perhaps just his snout, or a paw.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eOn his travels, he learnt about the rich history of dogs and the different eras they lived in. He saw the many fashions they wore, from glorious ruffs and puffs, to wolf tooth earrings and bone collars, and a short and very strange phase of catsuits.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eHe particularly relished the era where it was understood that dogs sniffing poles and strange looking patches on walls was an important dog communication system – mostly news and messages with a sprinkle of gossip and love notes, and sometimes great works of literature split into chapters across the town - and that it was rude to pull your dog away before they had added to the conversation themselves. The walks were longer in those times.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eHe also enjoyed the era where cats and dogs were the best of friends and went on picnics and danced in the moonlight together, howling and yowling and getting up to all sorts of antics before The Great Falling Out (no one knows what it was about, not even the parties involved, but the feud has now passed down through the generations).\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eBut his favourite time was one in the future where a new type of tree had sprung up and the plains of Klah had turned to forests. The trees grew beautiful yellow buds throughout the year, and when they were ready, they burst open, showering the forest with seeds just like the bouncy tennis balls which Bernard loved to chase. In this moment, nothing could distract him, and he moved so fast that anyone observing wondered if he was time travelling.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small, occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black with Gold \u0026 Silver","offer_id":41354110369926,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black with Gold \u0026 Silver","offer_id":41354110402694,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Black with Gold \u0026 Silver","offer_id":41354110435462,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black with Gold \u0026 Silver","offer_id":41354110468230,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black with Gold \u0026 Silver","offer_id":41354110500998,"sku":null,"price":115.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Time-Dog_-Black_Gold-Unisex-Sweater_-Milan.jpg?v=1726725604"},{"product_id":"horatio-guardian-of-the-limes-fleece-hoody-black","title":"Horatio, Guardian of the Limes Fleece Hoody, Black","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e350 GSM Cotton Hoody lined with anti-pill fleece, handprinted with the Horatio, Guardian of the Limes print. This garment has a lined hood, kangaroo pocket, raglan sleeves, tonal drawcord, hem and sleeve cuff ribbing, and is preshrunk to minimise shrinkage. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSizing guide in images. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eModel wears a size Large and is 187cm tall.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Horatio, Guardian of the Limes story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4 style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHoratio had been Guardian of the Limes for a long time now, and he was very proud. It is not easy to become a Guardian for the tests are rigorous: you have to fight large insects with your bare hands and be able to identify the limes from the tangerines pretending to be limes, and the tangerines from limes pretending to be tangerines, and as the fruits in Klah can change their colour, this is not as easy as it sounds. Horatio had succeeded though, and he felt this made him the second most successful member of his family, after his grandmother who had invented a telephone that could whisper jokes to you when the person you were talking to was incredibly dull. The telephone of course never got used on Horatio, as his life was anything but dull, he always had thrilling work stories about battling flocks of crows that tried to peck at the limes or having to use his own body as a shield when it hailed. Horatio felt a bit like a superhero protecting the world, for it was said that one day the limes themselves would save Klah, though no one had any idea how.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Black","offer_id":41354226401414,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":41354226434182,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":41354226466950,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":41354226499718,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":41354226532486,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Horatio-Hoody-Black_-Milan_0cc8969b-5a30-4bc1-9f1a-09e601eed712.jpg?v=1726734247"},{"product_id":"wolf-fox-fleece-hoody-dark-grey-marle","title":"Wolf-Fox Fleece Hoody, Dark Grey Marle","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e350 GSM Cotton Hoody lined with anti-pill fleece, handprinted with the Wolf-Fox print. This garment has a lined hood, kangaroo pocket, raglan sleeves, tonal drawcord, hem and sleeve cuff ribbing, and is preshrunk to minimise shrinkage. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSizing guide in images. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eModel wears a size Large and is 187cm tall.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Wolf-Fox story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4 style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe beast who was half wolf, half fox did not howl like a regular wolf, nor did he growl like a regular fox. Instead he sang the song of the future, only he sang it backwards, emitting a strange but beautiful noise, likened by some to the sound a flower makes in a sunshower, and others to the rhythm of waves against a great whale. We do not know how it is that he came to have such power, only that the moment he stops singing, it will be the future.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Medium \/ Dark Grey Marle","offer_id":41354357211270,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Dark Grey Marle","offer_id":41354357244038,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Grey Marle","offer_id":41354357276806,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Dark Grey Marle","offer_id":41354357309574,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3XL \/ Dark Grey Marle","offer_id":41354357342342,"sku":null,"price":129.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Wolf-Grey-Mens-Hoody-Milan.jpg?v=1726734865"},{"product_id":"brian-bird-lion-royal-sweatshirt-sage","title":"Brian Bird-Lion Royal Sweatshirt Sage","description":"\u003cp\u003e100% cotton handprinted sweatshirt (350 GSM) with neck and sleeve cuff ribbing, produced under ethical working conditions and printed using environmentally friendly, organic inks. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eSizing guide in images. This sweatshirt is a unisex cut.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Brian Bird-Lion story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003eBrian had always felt an affinity with birds. This was probably because Brian, although obviously part-lion, had himself hatched from an egg. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe egg had been resting all alone in a nest - not of twigs and moss and sticks, but of matted golden fur much like his own mane. After he had emerged from the egg, quite quickly, thanks to his lion claws, he looked around but could not find any sign of a jubilant parent, or even a note welcoming him to the world, so he climbed awkwardly down the tree and set out for life, which was fortunately signposted. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eHe soon discovered that when he encountered birds, a curious energy was created between them, and sometimes nearby objects would begin to fly, or sing sweet songs, or start to forage for crumbs. One time a letterbox burst into song and became a local attraction, and a whole town sprung up around it with lodgings with great names like \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Sing Inn\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, although of course it never happened again. In the meantime Brian realized he had never met a lion, and wondered \u003cem\u003ewhat would happen if he did?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/exchange-and-returns-policy\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree Exchanges\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e♛\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cem\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/em\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Sage","offer_id":42025413836934,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium \/ Sage","offer_id":42025413869702,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large \/ Sage","offer_id":42025413902470,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sage","offer_id":42025413935238,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Sage","offer_id":42025413968006,"sku":null,"price":105.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Brian-Sage-Sweater-Milan.jpg?v=1749017005"},{"product_id":"kingdom-of-klah-gift-voucher","title":"Kingdom of Klah Gift Voucher","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eFor friends of mystical sizes and desires or\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e ultra Klah fans who may own half the range already - let them choose!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGift vouchers are for online, and don't have to be redeemed all at once. Vouchers do not expire.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"$50","offer_id":42425699008646,"sku":null,"price":50.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$75","offer_id":42425699041414,"sku":null,"price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$80","offer_id":42425699074182,"sku":null,"price":80.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$85","offer_id":42425699106950,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$90","offer_id":42425699139718,"sku":null,"price":90.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$95","offer_id":42425699172486,"sku":null,"price":95.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$100","offer_id":42425699205254,"sku":null,"price":100.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$110","offer_id":42425699238022,"sku":null,"price":110.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$120","offer_id":42425699270790,"sku":null,"price":120.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$130","offer_id":42425699303558,"sku":null,"price":130.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$150","offer_id":42425699336326,"sku":null,"price":150.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$200","offer_id":42998028107910,"sku":null,"price":200.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$250","offer_id":42998028140678,"sku":null,"price":250.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Kingdom_of_Klah_gift_voucher_c41d14c6-18dc-43f5-b23c-c803e775cddc.jpg?v=1757206619"},{"product_id":"the-time-travelling-dog-zip-up-mens-hoody","title":"The Time Travelling Dog Zip Up Men's Hoody","description":"\u003cp\u003eZip Up Hoody (320gsm cotton) with CVC fleece lining, \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003ekangaroo pockets, lined hood and YKK metal zip. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eBlack with Metallic Blue and Orange print screenprinted on the back, embroidered Klahtian language on the front.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eProduced under ethical working conditions\u003c\/span\u003e and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAccompanied by the Time Travelling Dog story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis garment has a relaxed fit and is preshrunk to minimise shrinkage.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e...................................................................................\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ci\u003eThe Time Travelling Dog\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eB\u003c\/span\u003eernard had always been easily distracted. He could be trotting down the road to get the newspaper and on the way, he’d see a crow with a bit of ham heading down a side street. He’d quickly veer off after it - but then there’d be an intriguing hedge with an enticing scent and he’d feel the need to squeeze himself through that - when suddenly a procession of white rats playing gold tubas would go past, and before he knew it, he’d be dancing the highland fling up a distant mountain.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eWhen he eventually got to the paper it would often be a whole different day’s edition.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003ePossibly it wasn’t just distraction, perhaps some minor time travel was involved as many people are able to do without even realising. You probably know some of them.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eThey’ll be “just grabbing a coat” and an hour later they emerge like nothing just happened – which it didn’t, for them. They show up on the wrong day to appointments, or they seem to have devoured their meal while you briefly glanced away, and some other reason gets blamed instead of the real one: that they accidentally drifted through a small Time Tunnel which sent them very slightly forwards or backwards in time.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eAside from a couple of wild expeditions that had led him inadvertently through some minor tunnels, an hour or a day here and there, Bernard had lived a pretty ordinary life going steadily forwards in time. That is, until a certain day in early summer when he found a particularly good dumpster to rummage in.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eIt could have been the magical looking clock he consumed, or the week old tacos he gobbled, who could say – but from that day forward, or rather backwards, or sideways – life was never the same again for Bernard. Suddenly he could see the Time Tunnels, and even read their signs, should he be inclined. He was thus able to intentionally amble through time, and I say amble, because although he had a newfound power of time travel, his character of roving leisurely and getting side-tracked by exciting things along the way did not change. In fact, he moved so slowly and distractedly that he was often still bringing his back legs out of one tunnel when the front legs had gone through the next one. Because of this, you can find him – or parts of his great furry body – spread throughout most times in\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003ehistory (and the future). Have you ever thought you glimpsed something out of the corner of your eye and then there was nothing there?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p2\"\u003eBernard.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eOr perhaps just his snout, or a paw.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eOn his travels, he learnt about the rich history of dogs and the different eras they lived in. He saw the many fashions they wore, from glorious ruffs and puffs, to wolf tooth earrings and bone collars, and a short and very strange phase of catsuits.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eHe particularly relished the era where it was understood that dogs sniffing poles and strange looking patches on walls was an important dog communication system – mostly news and messages with a sprinkle of gossip and love notes, and sometimes great works of literature split into chapters across the town - and that it was rude to pull your dog away before they had added to the conversation themselves. The walks were longer in those times.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eHe also enjoyed the era where cats and dogs were the best of friends and went on picnics and danced in the moonlight together, howling and yowling and getting up to all sorts of antics before The Great Falling Out (no one knows what it was about, not even the parties involved, but the feud has now passed down through the generations).\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eBut his favourite time was one in the future where a new type of tree had sprung up and the plains of Klah had turned to forests. The trees grew beautiful yellow buds throughout the year, and when they were ready, they burst open, showering the forest with seeds just like the bouncy tennis balls which Bernard loved to chase. In this moment, nothing could distract him, and he moved so fast that anyone observing wondered if he was time travelling.\u003c\/h3\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Medium \/ Black","offer_id":43746006302854,"sku":null,"price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Black","offer_id":43746006335622,"sku":null,"price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":43746006368390,"sku":null,"price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XXL \/ Black","offer_id":43746006401158,"sku":null,"price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Time_Dog_Men_s_Zip_Hoody.jpg?v=1774733127"},{"product_id":"the-time-travelling-dog-zip-up-hoody-grey","title":"The Time Travelling Dog Zip Up Hoody","description":"\u003cp\u003eZip Up Hoody (350gsm cotton) with anti-pill CVC fleece lining, kangaroo pockets, and lined hood. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eGrey with Pink and Orange Time Travelling Dog screenprinted on the back, embroidered Klahtian language on the front.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eProduced under ethical working conditions\u003c\/span\u003e and hand-printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic waterbased inks.\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAccompanied by the Time Travelling Dog story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis garment has a regular fit and is preshrunk to minimise shrinkage.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e...................................................................................\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ci\u003eThe Time Travelling Dog\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eB\u003c\/span\u003eernard had always been easily distracted. He could be trotting down the road to get the newspaper and on the way, he’d see a crow with a bit of ham heading down a side street. He’d quickly veer off after it - but then there’d be an intriguing hedge with an enticing scent and he’d feel the need to squeeze himself through that - when suddenly a procession of white rats playing gold tubas would go past, and before he knew it, he’d be dancing the highland fling up a distant mountain.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eWhen he eventually got to the paper it would often be a whole different day’s edition.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003ePossibly it wasn’t just distraction, perhaps some minor time travel was involved as many people are able to do without even realising. You probably know some of them.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eThey’ll be “just grabbing a coat” and an hour later they emerge like nothing just happened – which it didn’t, for them. They show up on the wrong day to appointments, or they seem to have devoured their meal while you briefly glanced away, and some other reason gets blamed instead of the real one: that they accidentally drifted through a small Time Tunnel which sent them very slightly forwards or backwards in time.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eAside from a couple of wild expeditions that had led him inadvertently through some minor tunnels, an hour or a day here and there, Bernard had lived a pretty ordinary life going steadily forwards in time. That is, until a certain day in early summer when he found a particularly good dumpster to rummage in.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eIt could have been the magical looking clock he consumed, or the week old tacos he gobbled, who could say – but from that day forward, or rather backwards, or sideways – life was never the same again for Bernard. Suddenly he could see the Time Tunnels, and even read their signs, should he be inclined. He was thus able to intentionally amble through time, and I say amble, because although he had a newfound power of time travel, his character of roving leisurely and getting side-tracked by exciting things along the way did not change. In fact, he moved so slowly and distractedly that he was often still bringing his back legs out of one tunnel when the front legs had gone through the next one. Because of this, you can find him – or parts of his great furry body – spread throughout most times in\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003ehistory (and the future). Have you ever thought you glimpsed something out of the corner of your eye and then there was nothing there?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p2\"\u003eBernard.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eOr perhaps just his snout, or a paw.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eOn his travels, he learnt about the rich history of dogs and the different eras they lived in. He saw the many fashions they wore, from glorious ruffs and puffs, to wolf tooth earrings and bone collars, and a short and very strange phase of catsuits.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eHe particularly relished the era where it was understood that dogs sniffing poles and strange looking patches on walls was an important dog communication system – mostly news and messages with a sprinkle of gossip and love notes, and sometimes great works of literature split into chapters across the town - and that it was rude to pull your dog away before they had added to the conversation themselves. The walks were longer in those times.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eHe also enjoyed the era where cats and dogs were the best of friends and went on picnics and danced in the moonlight together, howling and yowling and getting up to all sorts of antics before The Great Falling Out (no one knows what it was about, not even the parties involved, but the feud has now passed down through the generations).\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"p1\"\u003eBut his favourite time was one in the future where a new type of tree had sprung up and the plains of Klah had turned to forests. The trees grew beautiful yellow buds throughout the year, and when they were ready, they burst open, showering the forest with seeds just like the bouncy tennis balls which Bernard loved to chase. In this moment, nothing could distract him, and he moved so fast that anyone observing wondered if he was time travelling.\u003c\/h3\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Medium \/ Grey","offer_id":44009995829382,"sku":null,"price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Grey","offer_id":44009995862150,"sku":null,"price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Grey","offer_id":44009995894918,"sku":null,"price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XXL \/ Grey","offer_id":44009995927686,"sku":null,"price":145.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Time_Dog_Men_s_Zip_Hoody_Grey.jpg?v=1779790805"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.kingdomofklah.com\/collections\/mens-sweatshirts.oembed?page=2","provider":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","version":"1.0","type":"link"}