{"title":"Women's Longsleeve Tees","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"the-balloonman-womens-longsleeve-1","title":"The Balloonman Women's Longsleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere are many reasons why one might want to exchange one's head. You might have been cursed with a head that chatters about trivial things while you’re trying to nap, you may no longer wish to be mistaken for a famous pop-star - or, you may wish to be. You may be hoping to avoid your relatives, or trying to infiltrate the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003eBearded Men with Slender \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003eNoses Club.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan\u003e For these reasons, and many more, the Floating Head Exchange exists, overseen by one known as the Balloonman. To show the Balloonman you would like to partake in a head exchange, simply touch the palms of your hands to the ground and he will take care of the rest. Over the years this has led to several unfortunate incidents where passersby have tripped over and unwillingly participated in the one-way exchange (and then been charged for it). Some have suggested that the Balloonman himself may have something to do with the mysteriously trippable objects that frequently seem to surround the exchange, asking him to explain the presence of cobblestone-coloured casserole dishes, mirrored disco balls and rakes made entirely of glass. The Balloonman responds to these accusations with a shake (and a wobble) of his rubbery head and says, his smiling expression unchanged, “\u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003eYou clearly have a suspicious mind. Perhaps you could do with a new one?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan\u003e”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit. Sizing guide in image.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Balloonman story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black with White \u0026amp; Metallic Blue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":31691904614534,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":31691904680070,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":31691904745606,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":31691904811142,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":31691904876678,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Balloonman-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1590116439"},{"product_id":"the-birthday-monster-womens-longsleeve-1","title":"The Birthday Monster Women's Longsleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Birthday Monster suffered from a great melancholy, for he constantly provided wondrous gifts for people of all ages around the world and never received any himself. He worked hard and diligently every single night with barely time to stop for a tea break. Nobody noticed him and they mistakenly thanked each other for the magnificent presents (how he envied Santa Claus, a celebrity amongst children). Did people even know what he looked like he wondered? Was there an image of him anywhere in the world?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Birthday Monster story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":31692134875270,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":31692134908038,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":31692134940806,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":31692134973574,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":31692135006342,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ XS","offer_id":39795942817926,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ Small","offer_id":39795942850694,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ Medium","offer_id":39795942883462,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ Large","offer_id":39795942916230,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":39795942948998,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Black-Birthday-Monster-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1590119075"},{"product_id":"the-accordion-of-unexpected-fortunes-womens-longsleeve-black","title":"The Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes Women's Longsleeve, Black","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEdgar came across the accordion in a park. The park was strange and mysterious; the trees did not move in time with the wind, nor the light with the sun. Certain leaves were seen to glint of their own accord, one after the other, and it was suspected they were sending coded messages - about what no one could ever quite be sure, other than that the whole business was strange and mysterious. Therefore Edgar wasn’t particularly surprised when he tripped over the accordion, partly as his toes were very large and he tripped over a lot, and partly because the park was so peculiar. He was slightly more surprised to pick up the accordion, and, after only three dud notes, find himself playing wondrous songs he had never heard before - especially as he had been told (frequently) that he had the musical ability of a goat with no ears. He sang always the same words, but somehow different things began to happen to the people who listened. One woman grew a tremendously large nose, which Edgar felt terrible about until he discovered she then went off to make her fortune as a famous moustache model. An old man who stopped to listen suddenly developed superb hearing in his elbow and became a highly successful spy, casually leaning against walls and surreptitiously recording surreptitious conversations. A third listener, a young lady, grew a dense layer of fur over her body, which enabled her to continue living in a mountain cave whilst she finished her best-selling book, “Culinary Skills and Table Manners of Yetis.” The accordion became known as the Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes, and Edgar and his accordion, rather unexpectedly, and most fortuitously, quickly became sought after.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Black.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":31701181366406,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":31701181431942,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":31701181497478,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":31701181563014,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Accordion-Women_s-Longsleeve-Black.jpg?v=1590282764"},{"product_id":"sacred-feather-womens-longsleeve-1","title":"Sacred Feather Women's Longsleeve with Sequin Eye","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit. Emerald green sequin eye.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Sacred Feather story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.............................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSacred Feather was not always known by such a grandiose name. He was born Malcolm Blibbertrot, and the girls used to tease him because of his high-pitched voice and silly name. One day three unusual feathers grew out of his head and have remained there ever since. Not only do they add to his ravishingly good looks, the feathers act as a sort of antennae, each tuned into a different wavelength. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe first feather, a glorious spotted specimen, allows him to predict the weather in Klah with amazing accuracy. The second feather, adorned with diamonds, understands the mysterious whispered language of the Kazuut trees, who it turns out know some great jokes as well as being incredibly wise. The third feather, perhaps the most miraculous of all, is able to tell when a guest is thirsty, and which flavour of tea is their preference. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eBecause of these talents he has appeared on the national weather channel for a number of years, is the Kingdom’s first representative to the Kazuut Forests in the South of Klah, and is an excellent host to his numerous visitors. These days girls chase him for his autograph and his name is printed on souvenir tea-towels. Sometimes he wishes he could have become a simple mechanic and wear greasy overalls without appearing in  gossip magazines (SACRED FEATHER IN SHOCK-HORROR WARDROBE MISHAP!), but mostly he is content.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":31737414484102,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":31737414516870,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":31737414549638,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":31737414582406,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":31737414615174,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Sacred-Feather-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1749368053"},{"product_id":"the-galaxy-creation-club-womens-longsleeve","title":"The Galaxy Creation Club Women's Longsleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAs far back as their memories stretched they had met on Wednesdays to create galaxies. Pauline sometimes thought she remembered a Wednesday cave painting class several thousand years ago, but the other spirits said she was just being fanciful, and anyway Wednesdays didn't exist back then. It was also a mystery to them why it was so important to keep creating galaxies, although Francine suspected the answer to the mystery was MYSTERY, because when they went through a brief phase of not meeting and got regular jobs moving bits of paper around and stapling things to other things as people had always advised them to, the world suddenly became smaller, and some stars fizzled out before their time and fell into the sea. Once the ocean had stopped shining and sizzling, those same people complained that things had become less sparkly and too known - not to mention all the magpies in the world, who love a bit of mystery and sparkle, took to a horrible wailing \u0026amp; flailing, and the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eGalaxy Creation Club\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e was hurriedly reformed. The night before Wednesday (often, but not always a Tuesday), a shooting star would be sent by one of the spirits revealing the meeting place. This moved around so as not to annoy the neighbours, for sometimes the creations were loud and involved chanting and the banging of saucepan lids, and other times they were utterly silent but required bursts of bright light followed by bursts of dark light, and dark light can be very disconcerting if you aren't accustomed to it. The locations were chosen in turn, because if Pauline had her way they would always be meeting in difficult to reach treehouses, or moonlit swamps which sound romantic but are also prone to vampirish insects, and Gregor found this very distracting while he was in the zone. In the zone they always muttered or sang or yelled or silently thought the ultimate words of creation, the words of their belonging and the binding of all things: KINGDOM OF KLAH ❇︎✺✬\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComes with the Galaxy Creation Club story-card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":31740777169030,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":31740777201798,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":31740777234566,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":31740777267334,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":31740777300102,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Galaxy-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1591177226"},{"product_id":"the-boney-birds-of-revelry-womens-longsleeve","title":"The Boney Birds of Revelry Women's Longsleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) with sequin eye, produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. 100% cotton. Relaxed fit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Boney Birds of Revelry story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.........................................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Boney Birds of Revelry\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eome people are very good at life. I do not mean that they have houses that match their briefcases and never wash their whites with a stray red sock, or that they have a five-year-plan in a folder which is in a bookcase, not accidentally stored in the woodpile. I mean that they are at all the gigs and at the front of all the conga lines, have had boombox parties in underwater caves with swarms of raving electric eels, and have watched the sun rise from the tops of mountains, the bottom of lakes, and even from inside the earth’s core. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eI speak really of the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003eBoney Birds of Revelry\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, whose\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003esequinned nests are always impressively strewn with glitter and are often mistaken for giant disco balls. It is considered impossible to keep up with the Boney Birds’ dance moves, which go on for days, take up a lot of space, and occasionally the teeth of unwitting passersby. The birds absorb the energy of joyous revelry like a black leotard left in the sunlight,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eand after a good party they often glow in the dark, which in turn leads to more revelry, and fabulous glowing synchronised dancing. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey are said to possess ancient powers that cause jovial things to happen at parties - there have been reports of table dancing sloths emerging out of dips, party bags that suddenly contain real parties, and on one memorable night all the guests sprouted resplendent wings, soared upwards into the sky, and danced so hard on on the clouds that one was accidentally burst, and a desert transformed into the sparkliest lake of all time (now home to a large gathering of magpies). The bones the birds wear around their necks and in their party hats symbolise the indestructible spirit but also the transitory, and the duty to celebrate the present, so although they are wild, they are also wise.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":39772328067206,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":39772328099974,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":39772328132742,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":39772328165510,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":39772328198278,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Boney-Birds-black-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1651995755"},{"product_id":"the-burglavorous-snitcheri-womens-longsleeve","title":"The Burglavorous Snitcheri Women's Longsleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Relaxed fit. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBurglavorous\u003c\/span\u003e story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003eThe Burglavorous (\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eBurglavorous snitcheri\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e), like any plant with several mouths and an appetite for more than just sunshine, should be treated with caution. Although generally a hardy houseplant that can survive in most conditions, it should not be placed within reach of anything valuable, for given the chance, the plant will burgle all your possessions, and where they end up, no one is sure. The burglaries are not only limited to silver spoons and common household rubies; there have even been cases of expensive miniature poodles and pedigree cats disappearing, and we won’t speak of what happened to Lady Zirconia who foolishly tried to water a fully grown Burglavorous with a hand bejewelled in precious rin\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003egs.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":40191992758406,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":40191992791174,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":40191992823942,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":40191992856710,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":40191992889478,"sku":"","price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Burglavorous-Women_s-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1744844382"},{"product_id":"the-time-travelling-dog-womens-longsleeve","title":"The Time Travelling Dog Women's Longsleeve","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted 100% cotton longsleeve tee (130 GSM) produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Orange \u0026amp; Metallic Blue print. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRelaxed fit. Sizing guide in images.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTime Travelling Dog\u003c\/span\u003e story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e....................................................................................\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eThe Time Travelling Dog\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eB\u003c\/span\u003eernard had always been easily distracted. He could be trotting down the road to get the newspaper and on the way, he’d see a crow with a bit of ham heading down a side street. He’d quickly veer off after it - but then there’d be an intriguing hedge with an enticing scent and he’d feel the need to squeeze himself through that - when suddenly a procession of white rats playing gold tubas would go past, and before he knew it, he’d be dancing the highland fling up a distant mountain.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eWhen he eventually got to the paper it would often be a whole different day’s edition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003ePossibly it wasn’t just distraction, perhaps some minor time travel was involved as many people are able to do without even realising. You probably know some of them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eThey’ll be “just grabbing a coat” and an hour later they emerge like nothing just happened – which it didn’t, for them. They show up on the wrong day to appointments, or they seem to have devoured their meal while you briefly glanced away, and some other reason gets blamed instead of the real one: that they accidentally drifted through a small Time Tunnel which sent them very slightly forwards or backwards in time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eAside from a couple of wild expeditions that had led him inadvertently through some minor tunnels, an hour or a day here and there, Bernard had lived a pretty ordinary life going steadily forwards in time. That is, until a certain day in early summer when he found a particularly good dumpster to rummage in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eIt could have been the magical looking clock he consumed, or the week old tacos he gobbled, who could say – but from that day forward, or rather backwards, or sideways – life was never the same again for Bernard. Suddenly he could see the Time Tunnels, and even read their signs, should he be inclined. He was thus able to intentionally amble through time, and I say amble, because although he had a newfound power of time travel, his character of roving leisurely and getting side-tracked by exciting things along the way did not change. In fact, he moved so slowly and distractedly that he was often still bringing his back legs out of one tunnel when the front legs had gone through the next one. Because of this, you can find him – or parts of his great furry body – spread throughout most times in\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003ehistory (and the future). Have you ever thought you glimpsed something out of the corner of your eye and then there was nothing there?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003eBernard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eOr perhaps just his snout, or a paw.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eOn his travels, he learnt about the rich history of dogs and the different eras they lived in. He saw the many fashions they wore, from glorious ruffs and puffs, to wolf tooth earrings and bone collars, and a short and very strange phase of catsuits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eHe particularly relished the era where it was understood that dogs sniffing poles and strange looking patches on walls was an important dog communication system – mostly news and messages with a sprinkle of gossip and love notes, and sometimes great works of literature split into chapters across the town - and that it was rude to pull your dog away before they had added to the conversation themselves. The walks were longer in those times.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eHe also enjoyed the era where cats and dogs were the best of friends and went on picnics and danced in the moonlight together, howling and yowling and getting up to all sorts of antics before The Great Falling Out (no one knows what it was about, not even the parties involved, but the feud has now passed down through the generations).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eBut his favourite time was one in the future where a new type of tree had sprung up and the plains of Klah had turned to forests. The trees grew beautiful yellow buds throughout the year, and when they were ready, they burst open, showering the forest with seeds just like the bouncy tennis balls which Bernard loved to chase. In this moment, nothing could distract him, and he moved so fast that anyone observing wondered if he was time travelling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":41740627280006,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":41740627312774,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":41740627345542,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":41740627378310,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":41740627411078,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Time_Dog_Metallic_Blue_Women_s_Longsleeve2_7193f2d5-a38c-4ef4-8eb6-86212b8934ce.jpg?v=1744845688"},{"product_id":"sacred-feather-womens-scoop-neck-longsleeve-with-sequin-eye","title":"Sacred Feather Women's Scoop Neck Longsleeve with Sequin Eye","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandprinted longsleeve tee (150 GSM) with scoop neck and curved hem produced under ethical working conditions \u0026amp; printed in New Zealand using environmentally friendly, organic inks. Double-hemmed, regular fit. Emerald green sequin eye.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAccompanied by the Sacred Feather story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.............................\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSacred Feather was not always known by such a grandiose name. He was born Malcolm Blibbertrot, and the girls used to tease him because of his high-pitched voice and silly name. One day three unusual feathers grew out of his head and have remained there ever since. Not only do they add to his ravishingly good looks, the feathers act as a sort of antennae, each tuned into a different wavelength. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe first feather, a glorious spotted specimen, allows him to predict the weather in Klah with amazing accuracy. The second feather, adorned with diamonds, understands the mysterious whispered language of the Kazuut trees, who it turns out know some great jokes as well as being incredibly wise. The third feather, perhaps the most miraculous of all, is able to tell when a guest is thirsty, and which flavour of tea is their preference. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eBecause of these talents he has appeared on the national weather channel for a number of years, is the Kingdom’s first representative to the Kazuut Forests in the South of Klah, and is an excellent host to his numerous visitors. These days girls chase him for his autograph and his name is printed on souvenir tea-towels. Sometimes he wishes he could have become a simple mechanic and wear greasy overalls without appearing in  gossip magazines (SACRED FEATHER IN SHOCK-HORROR WARDROBE MISHAP!), but mostly he is content.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eALL HAIL KINGDOM OF KLAH\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e♛ \u003ci\u003eSign up to our mailing list \"The Kingdom of Klah Citizen's Digest\", a small occasional e-publication which, amongst the magic, stories and royalty, contains a special Citizen's Discount Code. Sign up and become a Citizen \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/the-kingdom-of-klah-citizens-digest\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e☜\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kingdom of Klah","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":42081691959430,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42081691992198,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42081692024966,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42081692057734,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42081692090502,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Sacred-Feather-Duchess-Longsleeve.jpg?v=1750321222"},{"product_id":"kingdom-of-klah-gift-voucher","title":"Kingdom of Klah Gift Voucher","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eFor friends of mystical sizes and desires or\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e ultra Klah fans who may own half the range already - let them choose!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGift vouchers are for online, and don't have to be redeemed all at once. Vouchers do not expire.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"$50","offer_id":42425699008646,"sku":null,"price":50.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$75","offer_id":42425699041414,"sku":null,"price":75.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$80","offer_id":42425699074182,"sku":null,"price":80.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$85","offer_id":42425699106950,"sku":null,"price":85.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$90","offer_id":42425699139718,"sku":null,"price":90.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$95","offer_id":42425699172486,"sku":null,"price":95.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$100","offer_id":42425699205254,"sku":null,"price":100.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$110","offer_id":42425699238022,"sku":null,"price":110.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$120","offer_id":42425699270790,"sku":null,"price":120.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$130","offer_id":42425699303558,"sku":null,"price":130.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$150","offer_id":42425699336326,"sku":null,"price":150.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$200","offer_id":42998028107910,"sku":null,"price":200.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$250","offer_id":42998028140678,"sku":null,"price":250.0,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Kingdom_of_Klah_gift_voucher_c41d14c6-18dc-43f5-b23c-c803e775cddc.jpg?v=1757206619"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.kingdomofklah.com\/collections\/longsleeve-tees.oembed","provider":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","version":"1.0","type":"link"}