{"title":"Greeting Cards","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"the-balloonman-greeting-card","title":"The Balloonman Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with Balloonman illustration on the front and story on the back \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40060396535942,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Klah-Card-Balloonman-900.jpg?v=1460298608"},{"product_id":"the-accordion-of-unexpected-fortunes-gift-card","title":"The Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with \u003cem\u003eThe Accordion of Unexpected Fortunes\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and story on the back (blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":17141052356,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/accordian-red.jpg?v=1485197389"},{"product_id":"the-birthday-monster-gift-card","title":"The Birthday Monster Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with The Birthday Monster illustration on the front and story on the back (blank on the inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Birthday Monster suffered from a great melancholy, for he constantly provided wondrous gifts for people of all ages around the world and never received any himself. He worked hard and diligently every single night with barely time to stop for a tea break. Nobody noticed him and they mistakenly thanked each other for the magnificent presents (how he envied Santa Claus, a celebrity amongst children). Did people even know what he looked like he wondered? Was there an image of him anywhere in the world?\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40060399485062,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Klah-Card-Birthday-Monster-front900.jpg?v=1460299014"},{"product_id":"the-lantern-moths-commemoration-gift-card","title":"The Lantern Moths Commemoration Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with The Lantern Moths Commemoration illustration on the front and story on the back (blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39308934807686,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Klah_Card_-_Lantern_Moths_blue_bleed182.jpg?v=1525241133"},{"product_id":"the-mermans-circus-greeting-card","title":"The Merman's Circus Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with The Merman's Circus illustration on the front and story on the back (blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40060397846662,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Klah-Card---Merman-front900.jpg?v=1460299296"},{"product_id":"i-heart-kittens-gift-card","title":"I Heart Kittens Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with the I Heart Kittens illustration on the front and \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003estory on the back (blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Printed on textured Art Paper. Includes metallic envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":17565007684,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Klah-Card-Kittens-front900.jpg?v=1460298227"},{"product_id":"horatio-guardian-of-the-lime-gift-card","title":"Horatio, Guardian of the Limes Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with Horatio, Guardian of the Limes illustration on the front and \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003estory on the back (blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Printed on textured Art Paper. Includes matching envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":14430588502060,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Horatio_and_the_lime_web2.jpg?v=1485198470"},{"product_id":"the-yetis-dilemma-gift-card","title":"The Yeti's Dilemma Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with The Yeti's Dilemma illustration on the front and story on the back\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e (blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope. \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/the-yetis-dilemma\"\u003eRead the full story here.\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40060396634246,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Klah_Card_-_Paul2.jpg?v=1525241458"},{"product_id":"certified-crab-guides-of-klah-gift-card","title":"Certified Crab Guides of Klah Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with the \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cem\u003eCertified Crab Guides of Kla\u003c\/em\u003eh illustration on the front and \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003estory on the back\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e (blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Printed on textured Art Paper. Includes metallic envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003estuaries are magical places because they transform constantly, as the sea makes regular visits before dashing off to another party, and back again, rhythmically and reliably but also fashionably later than the day before. One particular estuary in the Kingdom of Klah, the \u003ci\u003eOreh-wuto,\u003c\/i\u003e has a few extra magic parts to it - there’s a little  island stage in the middle of it that Herman the Merman often brings his circus to, where the crowds gather and eat extra salty popcorn. There’s a section of reeds home to a family of ducks who are said to be royalty because their feet are not webbed, but instead have long toes which they use to play the harp with moderate competence. There are patches of quicksand which are not like in the movies, always sucking you down to the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s3\"\u003eearth’s core\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003e, but rather small societies of sand that value being prompt even though they don’t have anything to do, so they tend to dash around aimlessly – great for exfoliating the feet or if you need a bit of furniture sanded, not so great for a snooze in the sun. Should you want to go to the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s3\"\u003eearth’s core\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003e, you’d be better to try the labyrinths of crab holes that tunnel left and right and up and down and back and forth through both sand and mud \u0026amp; time and space. People sometimes speak of wormholes, but really they mean the crab holes of Klah. The holes are not signposted however, so enlisting the services of a Certified Crab Guide is advised. Always ask to see their certification papers, because rogue guides do exist and may take you somewhere quite different, like outer space, and then steal your boots.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31539081871494,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/KlahCard-Crab-web2.jpg?v=1587449935"},{"product_id":"the-beetle-of-excitement-gift-card","title":"The Beetle of Excitement Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003ere you familiar with the Beetle of Excitement? As you can see, it has many wings, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eand soars higher than many birds. What a lucky beetle! Such exciting views!  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eUnfortunately, this enthusiastic creature also has a tendency to get over excited and \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003ein a peculiar twist of nature, this causes it to faint, and drop from the sky.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003eThese days \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003emany Beetles choose to wear platform shoes made of cushions for a softer landing  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003e(and equally, residents of Beetle prone areas choose to wear large padded hats). In \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003etimes of particularly exciting events, such as the last National Towel Folding \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eChampionships when a competitor secretly pre-dampened other competitors towels, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003ebefuddling their techniques and resulting in mass rioting throughout Klah, by which \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eI mean several eggs were thrown and somebody lost a hat, preparations are also \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003emade for over excited beetles - safety nets are strung up, animal horns are \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003edecorated with tennis balls, and prickly bushes don their Special Occasion \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eExcitement Cloaks. This is possibly where the famous Klah ballad comes from: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s3\"\u003eShould you ever see a bush wearing a coat! Get out your padded hat!\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e   \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with \u003cem\u003eThe Beetle of Excitement\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40188496019590,"sku":null,"price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/KlahCard-Beetle.jpg?v=1587450546"},{"product_id":"brian-bird-lion-gift-card","title":"Brian Bird-Lion Greeting Card","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBrian had always felt an affinity with birds. This was probably because Brian, although obviously part-lion, had himself hatched from an egg. The egg had been resting all alone in a nest - not of twigs and moss and sticks, but of matted golden fur much like his own mane. After he had emerged from the egg, quite quickly, thanks to his lion claws, he looked around but could not find any sign of a jubilant parent, or even a note welcoming him to the world, so he climbed awkwardly down the tree and set out for life, which was fortunately signposted. He soon discovered that when he encountered birds, a curious energy was created between them, and sometimes nearby objects would begin to fly, or sing sweet songs, or start to forage for crumbs. One time a letterbox burst into song and became a local attraction, and a whole town sprung up around it with lodgings with great names like \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Sing Inn\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, although of course it never happened again. In the meantime Brian realized he had never met a lion, and wondered what would happen if he did?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with \u003cem\u003eBrian Bird-Lion\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and story on the back \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes matching envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40188499656838,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/brian-bird-lion-web.jpg?v=1587451051"},{"product_id":"the-treehead-man-gift-card","title":"The Man Who Loved Trees Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eT\u003c\/span\u003ehe man loved trees. He thought about them constantly, and one day he discovered two of them growing out of his head. Soon after, a family of birds arrived with their interpreter, Mr \u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eMaximillan P. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eSymonds\u003c\/span\u003e. Mr Maximillan P.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003eSymonds’ grandmother had been a crow. He asked the man if they might set up residence. The man was lonely and felt an affinity with Mr Symonds, and so he agreed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Cards with \u003cem\u003eThe Man\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003eWho Loved Trees\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and story on the back \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":34686938873990,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/KlahCard-Treehead2.jpg?v=1587451756"},{"product_id":"mystic-charles-secret-gift-card","title":"Mystic Charles' Secret Greeting Card","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eM\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eystic Charles had a secret. It wasn’t that he could teleport, everybody knew that, for that was how he delivered the royal mail. It wasn’t even the fact that it was really his splendid knitted hat that gave him this ability, not the crystal staff as everyone presumed (though this was really a secret too, as frequent attempts were made by naughty people to steal the staff). No, the secret I am referring to is that as well as being an excellent burglar decoy, the crystal staff doubled as a tap dancing prop when Mystic Charles was in the privacy of his bedroom. Although Mystic Charles had been practicing for years and was surprisingly agile, no one had ever seen him dance – for unfortunately even though he had travelled the world a thousand times, he remained frightfully shy, and never whispered his passion to a soul. “\u003ci\u003eTomorrow\u003c\/i\u003e”, he thought to himself every day. “\u003ci\u003eI will have the courage tomorrow\u003c\/i\u003e”. In his heart he longed to tap dance for the King \u0026amp; Queen, in the meantime he delivered their mail.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Gift Cards with \u003cem\u003eMystic Charles' Secret\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and story on the back. Includes envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39271682801798,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/KlahCard-MysticCharles.jpg?v=1587452279"},{"product_id":"mervyn-sagetusk-esteemed-wisehog-gift-card","title":"Mervyn Sagetusk, Esteemed Wisehog Greeting Card","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eI\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003en most countries an elite taxi service is one which \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eoffers polished gold handles, darkened, identity discreet \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003ewindows and a special microphone to talk to the driver (who has tassels on his shoulders and a thin moustache). The elite taxi service of Klah, however, contains none of these things - in fact there are no handles, windows, microphones or tassels whatsoever, and any moustaches are normally thick and curly. The Klah taxi service is run by a highly professional outfit called Feathered Flights, who guarantee speed, comfort, great views, and the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eability to fight off angry sparrows with a mere swipe of their powerful wings. Here, a Feathered Flights staff member transports one of the Kingdom’s most celebrated \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003ewisehog mentors to speak at a convention. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of even a short conversation with a wisehog will know they are, as the name suggests, the epitome of wise. It is well known that the longer their tusks, the wiser they are, and Mervyn Sagetusk (pictured) is greatly respected for sporting some of the most magnificent and astute ivories Klah has ever seen - he once famously advised Lady Battibus that she was not actually \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003ea praying mantis, almost certainly saving her husband’s \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003elife. For information on Mr Sagetusk’s upcoming \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003electures, visit: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/mervyn-sagetusk\"\u003ehttps:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/pages\/mervyn-sagetusk\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with \u003cem\u003eMervyn Sagetusk\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and story on the back. Includes metallic white envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31539140231302,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/KlahCard-Mervyn.jpg?v=1587457383"},{"product_id":"the-wafflefalter-bush-gift-card","title":"The Wafflefalter Bush Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eT\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003ehe wafflefalter bush, the leaves of which when stewed and thrown over ones left shoulder cure indecisiveness. Although many people suffer from this frustrating ailment, this remedy is not used as much as it should be as the patients tend to spend too long deciding which leaves are the most succulent, how long to stew them for and whether the over the shoulder motion should be quick and decisive, or slower and more accurate, and in the meantime the leaves shrivel and die. The distinctive flowers grow in the shape of the question mark in the Klahtian alphabet (\u003cimg data-mce-fragment=\"1\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Klah_question_mark_32x32.jpg?v=1635290417\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e), and questions have been raised about which came first; did life imitate art, or art imitate life (never resolved).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eOften found growing on fences.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s4\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with \u003cem\u003eThe Wafflefalter Bush\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and story on the back (\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eblank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39576625250438,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/WafflefalterBushcmyk.jpg?v=1635290612"},{"product_id":"the-browfaces-of-parch-rah-gift-card","title":"The Browfaces of Parch-Rah Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with \u003cem\u003eThe Browfaces of Parch-Rah\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003estory on the back\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e (blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eF\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eor twelve generations the Browfaces have lived in the desert of Parch-Rah, a sparse region of Klah bathed in an average of 365.25 days of sunlight a year, and although the original Browfaces arrived with their pockets bulging with sunglasses of all shapes and sizes, they soon found that for several reasons this approach was impractical. This was partly because they were the kind of people who needed back up housekeys for their back up housekeys, and had to wear sandals because they could never find any socks – for they were always losing things, and naturally their sunglass reserves quickly dwindled, and then became a distant memory, existing only in the tales of their pilgrimage to Parch-Rah passed down to their children.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eSecondly, the Browfaces had left their lives as statue polishers in the south to come to the desert and farm Guinea Tiffles, large birds with resplendent feathers which are collected and used to make capes for fashionable city dwellers. Guinea Tiffles are very suspicious creatures, and due to their large talons and powerful beaks, it is important to win their trust. As you yourself may have experienced, it is very hard to trust someone with dark plastic shields covering their eyes (or soul-holes as they literally translate to in Guinea Tiffle).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eAfter several useful limbs were lost and much time was wasted in long battles trying to collect the feathers, it was at this point the Browface family began a very clever feat of evolution – as each generation was born, their eyebrows grew longer, stronger, and bushier, and before long they had created their own natural sun protection for their soul-holes. It is said the Guinea Tiffles now trust the Browfaces so much that they even disclose to them their most personal secrets. Now the family has not only made a name for themselves as esteemed Guinea-Tiffle farmers, but have found their way into science textbooks throughout Klah.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39576655495302,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Card-Browfaces.jpg?v=1635292351"},{"product_id":"jeffrey-the-free","title":"Jeffrey The Free Greeting Card","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003eJ\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eeffrey liked dressing up and he liked dressing down, and he even liked dressing sideways. He chose his direction based on his mood that day, and it was entirely unrelated to expectations. Sometimes people stared at his outfits or made comments like “aren’t you worried about what people will think?”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eJeffrey was confused. “I don’t have time to worry about that!” he laughed. “I’m far too busy choosing my fabulous outfits and worrying about the important things in life, like what I’m going to have for lunch, or if any of my friends need me to dance the hooley-hooley with them, or if my pet lizard Bertrand has enough formal capes to wear – he does attend a lot of functions!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eBecause he had his ears tuned to a different frequency he didn’t hear the pointless thoughts and unnecessary whispers about him. Instead he heard things other people didn’t hear. He could hear which scarves were spun by kind and noble silkworms and which were spun by dastardly meanies - and were therefore liable to get caught on door handles and generally misbehave. He could hear the trees laughing in the wind, which was enough to turn a miserable day into a delightful one. He could hear which of his braces wanted to join which of his shorts that particular day, and anyone with any sense knows a happy set of braces is an important (and wise) achievement.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003eHe was sometimes vaguely aware of an unpleasant rumble coming from certain people, who were indeed making dark comments about his looks, but in the way you subconsciously avoid a deep puddle, or a biscuit that has less chocolate chips than the rest, he danced around these black holes with barely a sideways glance, and the darkness did not permeate his life. Which was handy – it’s much easier to find your clothes when you’re in the light.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with \u003cem\u003eJeffrey The Free\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003estory on the back (blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Printed on textured Art Paper. Includes metallic envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39576661590150,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Jeffrey-the-Bear.jpg?v=1635292853"},{"product_id":"galaxy-creators-thank-you-gift-card","title":"The Galaxy Creator's Thank You Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e A6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with illustration on the front and \u003cem\u003eThe Galaxy Creator's\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003estory on the back (blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs far back as their memories stretched they had met on Wednesdays to create galaxies. Pauline sometimes thought she remembered a Wednesday cave painting class several thousand years ago, but the other spirits said she was just being fanciful, and anyway Wednesdays didn't exist back then. It was also a mystery to them why it was so important to keep creating galaxies, although Francine suspected the answer to the mystery was MYSTERY, because when they went through a brief phase of not meeting and got regular jobs moving bits of paper around and stapling things to other things as people had always advised them to, the world suddenly became smaller, and some stars fizzled out before their time and fell into the sea. Once the ocean had stopped shining and sizzling, those same people complained that things had become less sparkly and too known - not to mention all the magpies in the world, who love a bit of mystery and sparkle, took to a horrible wailing \u0026amp; flailing, and the Galaxy Creation Club was hurriedly reformed. The night before Wednesday (often, but not always a Tuesday), a shooting star would be sent by one of the spirits revealing the meeting place. This moved around so as not to annoy the neighbours, for sometimes the creations were loud and involved chanting and the banging of saucepan lids, and other times they were utterly silent but required bursts of bright light followed by bursts of dark light, and dark light can be very disconcerting if you aren't accustomed to it. The locations were chosen in turn, because if Pauline had her way they would always be meeting in difficult to reach treehouses, or moonlit swamps which sound romantic but are also prone to vampirish insects, and Gregor found this very distracting while he was in the zone. In the zone they always muttered or sang or yelled or silently thought the ultimate words of creation, the words of their belonging and the binding of all things: KINGDOM OF KLAH ❇︎✺✬\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39576665653382,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Card--Galaxy-Thank-You.jpg?v=1635293235"},{"product_id":"the-burglavorous-gift-card","title":"The Burglavorous Greeting Card","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Burglavorous (\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eBurglavorous snitcheri\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e), like any plant with several mouths and an appetite for more than just sunshine, should be treated with caution. Although generally a hardy houseplant that can survive in most conditions, it should not be placed within reach of anything valuable, for given the chance, the plant will burgle all your possessions, and where they end up, no one is sure. The burglaries are not only limited to silver spoons and common household rubies; there have even been cases of expensive miniature poodles and pedigree cats disappearing, and we won’t speak of what happened to Lady Zirconia who foolishly tried to water a fully grown Burglavorous with a hand bejewelled in precious rings.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA6 Sized Folded Gift Card with \u003cem\u003eThe Burglavorous\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and story on the back. Includes cream envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39576668962950,"sku":"","price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/burglarvorous-web_123ebe1f-be05-48cc-87ee-78d4568096f2.jpg?v=1635293663"},{"product_id":"the-sky-gardeners-giant-greeting-card","title":"The Sky Gardeners Giant Greeting Card","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eGiant A5 Sized Folded Greeting Card with the Sky Gardeners illustration on the front and story on the back \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Printed on textured Art Paper. Includes envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40099409002630,"sku":"","price":9.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/SkyGardenersforGiftCard.jpg?v=1676272465"},{"product_id":"the-pancake-seas-the-wizard-hatted-fish-giant-greeting-card","title":"The Pancake Seas \u0026 The Wizard Hatted Fish Giant Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eGiant A5 Sized Folded Greeting Card with the Pancake Seas \u0026amp; The Wizard Hatted Fish illustration on the front and story on the back \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Printed on textured Art Paper. Includes envelope. These cards are twice the size of our standard ones, for those of you that need extra space for telling wild tales.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/the-pancake-seas-the-wizard-hatted-fish\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003e\u003cspan mce-data-marked=\"1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eRead the full story here!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40099433840774,"sku":"","price":9.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Wizard-Hatted-Fish-Blue-web_d5342da6-95bf-4342-9257-bbb55aea308b.jpg?v=1676322348"},{"product_id":"the-infinity-snakes-of-time-giant-greeting-card","title":"The Infinity Snakes of Time Giant Greeting Card (Black)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eGiant A5 Sized Folded Greeting Card with the Infinity Snakes of Time illustration on the front and story on the back \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Printed on textured Art Paper. Includes envelope. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThese cards are twice the size of our standard ones, for those of you that need extra space for telling wild tales.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/the-infinity-snakes-of-time\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" mce-data-marked=\"1\"\u003eRead the full story here!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40146513199238,"sku":"","price":9.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/products\/Card-InfinitySnakesa52.jpg?v=1681852575"},{"product_id":"the-infinity-snakes-of-time-giant-greeting-card-white","title":"The Infinity Snakes of Time Giant Greeting Card (White)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eGiant A5 Sized Folded Greeting Card with the Infinity Snakes of Time illustration on the front and story on the back \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Printed on textured Art Paper. Includes envelope. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThese cards are twice the size of our standard ones, for those of you that need extra space for telling wild tales.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/shop.kingdom-of-klah.com\/collections\/the-infinity-snakes-of-time\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" mce-data-marked=\"1\"\u003eRead the full story here!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40166845546630,"sku":"","price":9.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/Infinity-Snakes-card_421336cb-80ec-4256-8e97-e4b297ff4f9f.jpg?v=1684651058"},{"product_id":"the-sealhog-noisiest-creature-in-klah-greeting-card","title":"The Sealhog, Noisiest Creature in Klah Greeting Card","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eThe native sealhog of Klah, who spends his nights snoring so loudly other forest creatures are forced to migrate great distances, and spends his days crashing loudly through the undergrowth, screaming and squealing like a deranged smoke alarm, has been nominated in the Noisiest Creature in Klah competition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eThe sealhog is normally found romping around in seaside forests, and many of those who live in these areas have been forced to erect sealhog-proof fences around their properties, covered in sponges and bits of foam to absorb the racket. You would think, with all this excessive clatter that the sealhog could not possibly manage to catch any prey and that the species should surely have starved to death long ago, but in fact, due to the amount of time his mouth is gaping wide open, a surprising amount of flying grubs and fish find their way into his cavernous mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003ci\u003eThe Noisiest Creature in Klah competition ends on the next Full Moon and the winner will receive a powerful megaphone.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with \u003cem\u003eThe Sealhog, Noisiest Creature in Klah\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and story on the back \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes matching envelope.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":40520917614726,"sku":null,"price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/klah-native-sealhog3_7d67d454-c6f3-4da7-905a-2632eea7e5b7.jpg?v=1707121503"},{"product_id":"the-bridge-of-epiphanies-greeting-card","title":"The Bridge of Epiphanies Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003eBridge of Epiphanies, central Klah\u003c\/em\u003e. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis seemingly unremarkable bridge is the location of the highest number of recorded epiphanies in Klah. Many famous discoveries have occurred here, including the realisation of the young Herbert Trotgood that he could actually be Prime Minister, even though he was a goat. These days the bridge is much busier, as authors with writer’s block, bewildered scientists and frustrated musicians pilgrimage to it in the hope of inspiration - a little harder now that you have to wait your turn.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with \u003cem\u003eThe Bridge of Epiphanies\u003c\/em\u003e illustration on the front and story on the back \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes matching envelope.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42427301396614,"sku":null,"price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/BridgeofEpiphaniesGreetingCard3.jpg?v=1757305229"},{"product_id":"the-ruminatel-beasts-greeting-card","title":"The Ruminatelbeasts Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA6 Sized Folded Greeting Card with The Ruminatel Beasts illustration on the front and story on the back \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e(blank inside for your coded messages \/ sonnets). Includes matching envelope.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003ci\u003eHoles that emit light beams, Nilreb Province.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003eKlahtian Scientists are still working to determine why this phenomena occurs, though grandmothers have known for centuries that it is because of the Ruminatelbeasts who live just below the surface of the earth and shoot light beams from their eyebrows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003eThese brilliant light beams are powered uncontrollably by the Ruminatelbeasts’ thoughts, useful when making a jam sandwich in the dark or looking for their favourite black t-shirt in a drawer of black t-shirts. Unfortunately the Ruminatelbeasts have a tendency to overthink, constantly creating far too much thought-light, and making it hard to sleep or watch old films in their underground lairs. After much pacing, ruminating and light explosions that made the fields of Klah look like the sun, the beasts eventually came up with the ingenious idea to put holes in their bedroom ceilings to release the unwanted light into the world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003eGrandmothers of Klah (GOK) recommends a drop of clove oil on the temples before approaching, and never to whisper thought-provoking ideas down the holes unless you are wearing a high quality visor-shield.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42431724060806,"sku":null,"price":6.5,"currency_code":"NZD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0109\/3092\/files\/GreetingCard-Ruminatel2.jpg?v=1757476876"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.kingdomofklah.com\/collections\/gift-cards.oembed","provider":"KINGDOM OF KLAH","version":"1.0","type":"link"}